lil' c turns four

caleb celebrated his birthday earlier this month. this is something he looks forward to all year and asks about every month. thus, you can imagine how excited caleb was when june rolled around and rumblings of his birthday started to make their way into the cooper household. caleb decided he wanted a transformers party and so we (and when i say we, i really mean aimee) happily obliged.

it was fun for the kids but complete and utter chaos for the adults. we have a rather small house and backyard, but it works for us most of the time. caleb's b-day party was not one of those times. i think aim invited twenty something kids. luckily only about fifteen or so showed up... but even fifteen little persons made the house feel much smaller and louder than it usually is (but not by much).

one noticeable absentee was caleb's uncle ryan (i told you this was coming). i can't resist giving my brother in-law ryan a hard time over this, but apparently, with studying for the bar, going out to the lake and all, uncle rybie only had time for one party that weekend and apparently we were up against a "fancy nancy" party (don;t ask me what fancy nancy is lest ye forget i have three boys).

what are the odds? so, without hesitation, i think we can all understand why rybie would choose to go to the "fancy nancy" little girl's birthday party instead of his nephew's "transformers" birthday party. actually, we can't... at least i can't. i mean, i know his mom's name is "nancy" and all, but c'mon??? transformers v. fancy nancy??? tea party v. things that turns into robots and then fight each other while blowing things up??? i think i'll have to be taking that man card from you (says the guy who enjoys blogging and interior decorating). maybe we'll do a "bratz" b-day for colston.

disclaimer: there is nothing wrong with being fancy, having the name nancy or little girls having birthday parties centered around being fancy and having the name nancy. nothing at all. it's both totally cute and totally adorable. it's even more cute and more totalier adorable when a grown man gets into it. if i have conveyed anything other than this in my post, it was not my intent and i invite you to have a cup of tea with me over some manis and pedis sometime so i can apologize in person.

enjoy the pics and video.

i will live to blog again

friends,

i apologize for being so remiss in my blogging duties. there is so much i would like to say, but so little time in which i have to say it, or type it. in the meantime i just wanted to get a quick message out to my fans letting you know i am still breathing and i will soon be back to blog again.

i would blog more often, but all i literally do pretty much all day, every day is study for the bar. i am unable to let my guard down even for a second, for she (the bar) is an ominous beast who lurks in the shadows watching my every move with the perpetual patience of a seasoned assassin waiting for me to slip or lose my edge and then BAM!!! she'll take her shot, but little does she know i have seen all 6 star wars movies and have studied well the ways of the jedi. i can sense that bullet coming long before it even enters the chamber. is the jedi imagery a little much? the boys like it. i'm not sure which will be a sadder day in the cooper household: the day the boys finally figure out their dad is not really a jedi or the day they discover santa isn't real. at least then i won't have to quit lying to them about where i keep my lightsaber.

how about jack bauer? i have seen every episode of all 6 (or is it 7?) seasons of 24. i am in tune with my inner-jack. how else is it that i am able to sit in class and the library for 12 hours a day listening to, reading about, talking over, studying, eating, drinking, breathing, sleeping, oft times loathing things like the rule against perpetuities, res ispa loquitur, res judicata, blah blah blah blah (the more latin i use the more you might actually think i know what i am talking about), etc.? even jack would crack under those conditions.

at any rate, i am steadily preparing to give the bar a swift drop kick in the crotch later next month (which really doesn't make a ton of sense from an imagery standpoint since i have been referring to the bar as a female all along). thus, until i send the bar tumbling over in excrutiating pain and am free to set the world's record for longest blog posts, i think the intermittent lull would be a great time for all of you to spend a moment or three reflecting on the prior blog entries found here on los cooper cinco. migt i suggest even re-reading and studying a few of them as if you were preparing for your own cooper five bar examination.

now is your chance to shine. impress your friends at the next multi-level marketing "party" you attend with your vast array of cooper five knowledge. besides,
there is no telling when alex tribec will, in response to a request for famous blogs for $300, state: "the gubler-coon's hot tub" to which some hopeless brainiac will reply: "what is the location where caleb cooper pinched a deuce?" how else would he have possessed such knowledge had he not put in the time on the cooper five absorbing every bit of pretentious information found herein?

there are no shortcuts. start now. as a matter of fact, i have some special instructions for some of you so that will help experience true empathy for me and what i am going through but with much better material:

to my brother jeff:

read: all blog entries again while taking notes
review: notes from reading
write: compose and submit a five page essay as a comment to this blog discussing the length of my blog entries in comparison to baseball games. you made a good start of this on your own blog, just keep going, you can do it.
watch: game 6 of the nba finals again, no i'm just kidding i would never wish that sort of pain on anyone... ever.

to my friend johnny miller:

read: quick hits (literally): closed fist or flat hand slap while taking notes
review: notes from reading
write: essay comparing and contrasting my sons' signature moves vs. your sons' signature moves. pontificate on the effectiveness of each move and how we can better combat their efforts to overthrow the parental regime. lastly, explain why it is you were able to give me advice regarding how to strike a mat at a church gym
watch: la laker at phoenix sun circa 1988. pay close attention to the kid with buck teeth focused in on during the national anthem. re-watch and then call your orthodontist and thank him profusely.

to my dad:

who are we kidding, as if he ever reads this... but, in the oft chance melanie is charged with reading this and then reporting back to him: mel, can you explain to big jeff that i have posted numerous entries on the value of extremely hard work and frugality. thanks.

to my mom:

i know you are very busy doing... actually, i have no idea why you are so busy, but since you seem to be very busy all you have to do is watch the "treat your mother right" video and post an entry explaining why there is nothing at all wrong with mr. t's striped tube socks and camouflage daisy dukes ensemble. if anyone can appreciate all that gold bling hanging around his neck i am sure it is you. don't forget to make mention of the back-up singers wardrobe, hairstyles and sunglasses... this should be purely natural for you. lastly, express your feelings on how your second oldest son 'treats his mother right."

to my dear wife aim;

you've got enough on your plate, take the day off.

bryson:

read: pigeons, poop, and gameballs
write: don't write anything. i just want to see if, upon reading the post, you can laugh loud enough in summerlot to the point that i can actually hear you here in mountain's edge.
write: an essay on how you can laugh at all your own jokes and maintain your dignity (you can co-author with my mom if you like)

ryan:

read: i heart fancy nancy more than transformers: why i prefer little girl theme birthday parties more than little boy ones... wait you can't read that one because i haven't written it yet. oh, but i will...
write: i forgot you are studying for the bar, too. nevermind

taylor:

read: you're studying for the bar, too, so you don't have to read anything more than this: PEEPS are DISGUSTING as is CANDY CORN.
write: an apology to me for making me think about eating that garbage

everyone else:

i didn't forget about you, it's just that this entry is already too long. send me a post and i will send you a personalized assignment if i have offended.

don't quit reading. better posts are in the works. i promise... just be patient (that's what i told aim 10+ years ago).

from the mouth of babes

sorry the posts have been few and far between lately. i started studying for the bar about a week and a half ago and life as i knew it ended abruptly. i had a few minutes to post tonight though, so i wanted to share a little bit about caleb so you all can understand why we have a video of him speaking in some unrecognizable language. the language is actually english and he is reciting a scripture he memorized and shared at church during primary open exercises.

for those of you who don't speak 'mormon', all the kids at church go to kid-oriented classes called primary. before they separate into classes based on their ages, all of the kids under age 7 or 8 meet together and have some group teaching take place. as part of the group teaching, kids are assigned different things to do to take part in the teachings. for example, caleb was assigned the week before to share a scripture of his choice with everyone.

caleb decided to share moses 1:39 because jameson had also memorized this scripture when he was younger and shared it during primary. so, with the scripture picked out, he, jameson, and mom started working on memorizing it. at times he would try and recite it to me during the week, but usually would not do so without aim's help and prompts. sunday finally rolled around and he was excited to share his scripture but i hadn't heard him recite once all by himself. i figured he could do it, but caleb can be shy and stubborn. these attributes do not make for a good combination when it comes to a child required to speak in public.

at any rate, caleb and i went into the primary room a little before primary started to practice with the microphone (he insisted that i call it a microphone and not a mic). true to form, caleb balked on the stand and would not recite the scripture as i coaxed him to practice. so, even though things weren't going quite as planned, i just figured when the time came, we'd have to prompt him along from the crowd as he shared his scripture.

with that primary started and we all sat down. caleb felt extra important that day as he got to sit in the scripture chair at the front of the room while he waited for his turn. finally it came and he walked up to the pulpit, stood on the step, and looked out at the group of kids and parents who sat anxiously awaiting his scripture. caleb paused for a minute, as though he were not entirely sure what to do without aim or i there to coax him along. we waited, and i thought after a second or two aim or i would have to start him off by saying the first couple of words out loud. but to our pleasant surprise, caleb rattled off moses 1:39 as clear and as accurate as could be:

for behold, this is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. moses chapter one verse thirty-nine.

aim and i both got goose-bumps and our eyes teared up. it was a really neat moment for us as parents to see our little boy share the scripture so well. he exceeded our expectations. all you have to do is watch the video to see how good of a job he did. as you can tell from the video, he is very difficult to understand and that's take number 15 or so. that was as clear as we could get him to speak after constant cajoling and myriad bribes. so, you can imagine our surprise when on sunday, he actually spit it all out as eloquently and articulately as a stubborn, little three-year old boy can.

we are so proud of him, we just wanted everyone else to see why. hope it all makes sense now.

j

the mets v. the 51s

on friday, we had a chance to go see the 51s with jameson's baseball team. it had been a while since i had been to cashman field for something other than stake conference or a boat show. even though it was wet and cold, we had a lot of fun. jameson got to go onto the field before the game started and run out with the 51s player who plays his position when the starting line-up was announced. he also got to lead the crowd on the microphone from the announcer's box, along with his teammates, in a roaring rendition of "take me out to the ball game" during the 7th inning stretch. jameson has had a lot of fun with baseball this year and has made some good friends. the playoffs start on may 31. should be fun.

enjoy the slide show.

viva la graduacion!

graduation was over the weekend. it was great and by great i mean it was mostly uninspiring, although it did have its moments. i just wanted to post some pics we got for your viewing pleasure. in case you were wondering, some of the pics are from the celebratory lunch we had afterwards.

lastly, but not least, i just want to thank everyone who has supported us in any way over the last three years. we could not have done it without everyone's love and support. thank you!!!

j

quick hits (literally): closed fist or flat-hand slap?

first, let me just say that everyone should check out aim's bear cake pics i posted down below... very impressive.

second, i need to confess to a little mishap i had the other day. i need to preface my remarks here by saying that this happened on a sunday morning, a fast sunday no less, and this particular sunday being the sunday just before finals week (plus i don't think i got much sleep the night before). also, most of you that know me, know that i am a pretty tranquil guy... so, don't let this change your opinion of me.

besides, had i listened to my good friend johnny miller, none of this would have ever happened. you see, johnny once gave me some valuable advice after i had informed him that i had broken a metacarpal in my fist after punching one of those padded wall mat things in church gyms behind basketball hoops (this particular one wasn't much of a pad at all, more like a piece of plastic). johnny said, "jur, you flathand slap those things, don't try and punch them, fool" (ok, he didn't actually say 'fool', but that sounds better to me). he's right. had i flathanded that mat, i wouldn't have broken my hand and i probably would have made my point even more emphatically than i did with my fist because slapping the mat is louder than punching it and i just wanted everyone playing to know that i knew and was frustrated over having taken a bad shot (i had to act frustrated so these guys would know that that kind of shot selection, and actually missing a shot, is atypical for me... at least that's what i wanted them to think because these guys were cool jocks that had gone to high school with aimee and they needed to know that she married a world class athlete/basketball mastermind who only passed on the nba because he knew it would be hard on his family life... and who wouldn't come to such a conclusion after seeing someone punch a brick wall after missing a shot? it's perfectly logical). so, i punched, heard a pop, and my hand turned into a balloon. funny thing is, i started shooting better after that.

anyway, as usual: i digress. back to my original confession: i kicked a hole in the wall that cursed sunday morning. before you all judge me, i invite you... no, DARE you... to come spend a sabbath morning in our humble abode. word on the street is that the producers of survivor are looking at shooting next season of the show upstairs at our house on a sunday morning. sounds like it won't fly because it is too much for network tv. in short, i will just say that i would rather try to castrate a porcupine most sunday mornings than get our kids ready for church. that's how bad it can be.

most sundays i feel like as soon as i get up, a bell rings and i am suddenly engaged in a no-holds-barred cage-fighting match from sun up until sun down featuring aim and i in one corner of the ring and the terrible three in the other... and let me tell you, they kick our trash week in and week out. yet, we keep coming back for more. are we sadists? masochists? gluttons for punishments? who knows (mostly i don't know because i can never remember the difference between sadists and masochists... i am pretty sure we are one, but i am just not sure which one). all i know is that on the particular sunday at issue here, i had had enough: i was going to fight the three strongest boys in the village, perhaps the world, that morning and i was going to prevail. if i'd had some stretchy pants and a mask i would have thrown them on because it was go time, no more mr. nice guy.

as such, i psyched myself up to some MoTab "consider the lillies" and headed up the stairs ready for hand-to-hand combat. jameson was in his room working on his signature move - "ignoring us" - as evidenced by his flat out ignoring me when i asked him to start getting ready. and that was when it happened: something inside me said "no more." i needed to respond with authority. i needed to re-establish who wore the stretchy pants in this family and so i thought: what can i do to catch his attention? for a minute i considered flathanding the wall, for flathanding would carry out the intended "shock and awe" effect while inflicting minimal damage to our property and my person. yet somehow that made too much sense at the time. instead, i thought i would try something new: why not kick the wall? yes, they have not seen wall-kick before and if i executed it just right, it would still make a sudden loud slapping noise, not hurt too bad, and not damage the wall. but, as you can see, this new move was more risky than a flathand slap as it required a higher degree of skill than the slap. no matter, i was determined to be a cutting edge disciplinarian in this moment and so i kicked. sorry, johnny, i have failed you yet again. but, whatever...

it felt good at first: i could tell i had not broken any bones, jameson looked up startled and started moving at a quickened pace, but as i slowly looked down, i noticed i had not carried out what i'd hoped would become my signature move... alas, there was a hole in the wall. i glared down half-impressed and half-frustrated at first: impressed because i couldn't believe that i could so easily kick a hole in the wall no matter how strong i thought i was; frustrated because now not only did i have kids to get ready for church and finals to worry about, but a new hole in the wall to fix. unfortunately, this is what happens when one reacts first without thinking rationally. yes, i am somewhat embarrassed by my actions and i hope they serve as a future reminder to think first and then kick the wall. at any rate, it only took all of church and a few hours before jameson was back to pulling off his signature move again along with his brothers without fear of having the wall kicked- in again.

oh well... all's well that ends well, i guess. besides, i learned my lesson: it really isn't all that hard to patch up holes in your drywall (it's amazing what you can learn on the internet these days).

check out the before and after pics (i still haven't painted)

treat your mother right

a friend at work introduced me to this absolute gem and i couldn't resist posting it to the blog as a tribute to aim, my mom, gaylin, and all the other mothers out there. if this doesn’t make you appreciate your mother, then nothing ever will.

i heart the moms in my life (especially the ones whose names start with a and end with imee). so, as a late m-days tribute, watch the video:

open email on graduation ceremonies

Just in case any of you are interested (and who wouldn't be interested in reading about an invitation to someone else's graduation), here is an email I sent out to my family regarding my graduation this weekend. I thought some of you may appreciate it...

Please forward this to any immediate family members missing above that I may have unintentinoally left off the email list. The only person I intentionally left off was Kathryn, but that's beacuse she doesn't have an email address (and I can understand why since getting your own email address is far too expensive these days whatwithall the skyrocketing stamp prices and such!).

All,

Yes, it is true: I will be graduating from 21st grade this Friday. I would like to formally invite any and all of you who would like to attend an event to be held in my honor this Friday at UNLV (there might be a bunch of other people there in caps and gowns and they might even act like the event is for them as well, but the truth is that it is all for me). That was a joke. The upper case letters may have thrown you off.

Seriously, if you would like to come to the graduation ceremonies there is an attachment with some info and some more info below. I haven't read, but I think it says that thre are two graduations: one on Friday in the morning and on on Saturday in the afternoon. If you are going to come, come to the one on Friday. The one on Saturday will be lame and boring (that's not to say that the one on Friday won't be lame and boring, but the one on Saturday is for all of UNLV while the one on Friday is only for the law school). Plus, they won't actually say my name really loud through a microphone and teach me the secret handshake on stage at the one on Saturday.

I expect everyone to be there and I will not except excuses like: "oh, I'm in Utah, I'm nine months pregnant and I might go into labor" or "oh, I'm in Jerusalem and I can't afford to fly back for the weekend." Cry me a river. Jeriann, if you deliver during my graduation, not only would you likely make the evening news, you could name Ruthy after me instead of il Bambino. Tami, if you don't feel that my graduation is important engough to traverse a couple contintents, an ocean and the country, then I might just wear white socks with my suit at your wedding. Bryson, if you're too busy re-telling a patient bad jokes about my mom's food, he will probably actually appreciate it if you leave and spare him the humor (courtesy laughs hurt when there is dental equipment in your mouth).

Seriosuly (this time I mean it when I say "seriously"), don't go out of your way to see this. I am mainly sending this email out because some of you have asked and my self esteem is such that I need to hear all of you congratulate me. It'll be just a bunch of pomp and cirucmstance infused with a grip of academics showing off their sweet looking robes and hats while patting themselves on their high-minded backs. But, if you are looking for something to do, or just feel bad about not ever buying me a suit to wear to prom because all of our money went towards the girls' dresses, here's your chance to make peace with yourself and sound an air-powered blowhorn when they call my name even though they ask you not to. That would mean a lot to me.

Regards,

Jeremy

disclaimer: this email was all in jest except for the part about me graduating and the suit for prom.

the day we have all been waiting for...

some day many, if not all, of you will look back on may 9, 2008 and remember exactly what you were doing with uncanny clarity because you will remember it as the belssed day that you heard jeremy cooper completed his final law school final exam. it is a moment that will forever be branded in our impressionable minds and in some cases silently celebrated. yes, it is true: i am calling it quits as a student. many of you may be thinking that armageddon is surely upon us, and maybe it is... but i can't in good conscience take any credit for ushering in the last of the last days by simply graduating from law school. that's not to say that making it through the last three years has been anything short of a miracle, but c'mon... the second coming? seriously. no, seriously.

i am not sure how i will handle being completely done with school and working full-time in a real job since the last time that happened i ended up quitting my job and going back to school. at any rate, it feels nice to be done. however, it would feel a whole lot nicer if i didn't have to take and pass the bar in order for finshing law school to really mean anything at all. i think this is why finishing up law school has been somewhat anti-climatic (that and the fact that grauating gets kind of old the third time around). but, while the bar tends to put a damper on things, i refuse to let it get me down. instead i am choosing to celebrate my triumph by writing a post for out blog. what a party.

not much has happened with the blog over the last week because i have been busy studying and taking finals. for that i apologize. we have a lot to catch up on (like why there is a hole in our wall now and why caleb is standing on the ac unit with no clothes on), but that will have to wait for another time when i feeling more inspired and much wittier than i do now.

i just had to kill some time while i wait for aim to finish baking a cake for a baby shower tomorrow. she could be a while since anything short of a cake fit for martha stewart magazine is unacceptable. you see, other women will actually be at this shower and if even the slightest indication of ordinary shows up on our cake, we are ruined. all of the hard work and shameless flattery we have doled out over the last year in an effort to claw our way up the mormon caste system ladder will be for naught in the event aimee's creation can't knock the seven jeans and shade shirts off every sister present. in fact, i am getting a little nervous just thinking about not receiving an invite to the next ward clique dinner party (especially since i have some new pampered chef servingware and this very rare and extremely creative yam dish complete with paper mache reindeer, chick peas and brazilian nuts... all from trader joes and whole foods, of course - ok, so the chick peas are from albertsons, but i got them from the organic food section... i promise). i better go provide some quality control downstairs so aimee doesn't put jameson's arranged marriage at risk.

after that i am going to google phd programs i'm interested in.

sorry folks... that's all i've got tonight.

j

check out the new pics and slideshows...

all,

i have updated a few of our prior posts to include the promised pictures as i know you have all been waiting on pins and needles to look at more images of us.

see the following posts: the backyard (sorry ladies, no pictures of shane), easter, jameson: a scholar and a gentleman, and the gauntlet for a little mixed media.

enjoy. more to come.

j