Tuesday, July 15, 2008

great opportunity for a missionary moment




this is a great story coming out of philly. it appears brother sikahema is taking missionary work and putting one's heart, night, mind and strength into the work to a whole new level. for those who haven't heard, vai recently boxed, and decimated, jose canseco with his purse going to the family of a police officer killed in the line of duty. apparently, it wasn't much of a fight at all with vai taking jose out in about a minute. pretty impressive considering vai is 5' 9" and pretty boy canseco stands at 6' 5". guess bash brother number one was low on juice.

what's more, vai has got to be in his mid forties (even though he's in better shape than me... hard to believe?). judging by the shape vai has kept himself in, he could have easily posed as mr. january in the calendar from my last post. but, i think the ring is a much better venue for missionary work than a male model calendar. in fact, with all the polynesian boxing/rugby enthusiasts in the church, i am surprised we are not taking this approach to proselytyzing more often. seriously... who doesn't want to be part of a church where a fiesty little (little in this case, but usually quite the opposite) poly will take on pretty boy behemoths for a good cause (fyi: canseco kept the $$$ he made for himself). if you could ever take out two birds with one stone, this was the time.

i think i am going to send a link of this to the first presidency. note to self: call miti pula (ward mission leader) and moa peaua (one big mutha) after the bar to talk about a potential tag team boxing match/missionary event between them and the cast of thunder from down under (minus my brother kendall). it won't even be close.

Friday, July 11, 2008

usa today's homepage: my debut as mr. december (fyi: i am not in the picture below)


love to see this kind of stuff making national news... especially on usa today's homepage. i couldn't resist commenting. you should at least take a look at this article in order for any of the following to make sense.

first off, as shocking as this may be, i am just joking about mr. december. mr. hardy did approach me a few months back and asked if i could serve as the calendar's feature model, but i told him that i refused to shave my chest or wear make-up and that was the deal breaker. he wouldn't give in and i wasn't about to compromise my artistic integrity. looks like i dodged a bullet.

in all seriousness, i didn't want to comment on the story as much as i did about some of the readers' comments on the story (disclaimer: i only had time to skim both the article and the comments). but before my comments on the comments, mr. hardy says something in the article regarding the possibility of excommunication that an aspiring attorney studying for the bar (which i should be doing right now rather than typing up this post) found to be fairly amusing: he said, "I just feel like my right to free speech is being violated."

a quick lesson on one's fundamental right to free speech: one's right to free speech is basically only protected from governmental interference or repression. so, unless the church is funded or run by the government (which would be a constitutional violation), the constitution does not prevent the church from excommunicating its members for saying or doing things that are not in accordance with the church's basic tenets or beliefs. alright, maybe no one else found that to be somewhat annoyingly inaccurate, but try studying for the bar for two months straight... it warps your mind.

before you read on, a quick disclaimer: this is not the usual family friendly commentary i like to engage in on our blog. so be forewarned, while the contents below are still pretty darn tame, you probably won't be able to use this post as a basis for your next family home evening like most certainly have with some of my former posts (sorry bryson you will have to come up with your own message this week). i know that the "controlling your anger home evening" complete with the felt board figures reenactment along with the drywall repair family activity may have gone over really well with the wife and kids, but now it's your time to shine (i'm thinking christmas cookies and car windows... run with it). for those who don't know what family home evening is follow the link to learn more: http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=bbd508f54922d010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=17f70bbce1d98010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____

i can't help myself. just ask to look at my mom's modeling portfolio next time you're at the old house. i think big jeff keeps it in the family safe with the hopes that it will be protected when the fiery flames of righteous indignation sweep their way through vegas taking out all that is carnal within their path.

after you have checked out the portfolio, ask my dad about his cameo appearance as cupid at a church event. i just thought you should get a taste of the gene pool we are dealing with here.

now for the comments:

Why don't you Mormons work on cleaning up the large numbers of child molesting polygamists who claim your religion, i think it might be a bit more deserving of your anger.

jkc: who's angry? the only thing i am mad about is this pretty much puts the kabosh on the "men of the cooper family" calendar due out later this year (we're still in talks with big jeff over his wardrobe... can't seem to track down his cupid outfit and little jeff and kendall are fighting over the lakers speedo: there can only be one).

certainly didn't intend to insult the mormon community, but I live in an area that is predominately mormon and one would have to blind not to notice that many mormons have reddish blond to red hair and quite a few have a slightly sloped forehead. It's simply a fact, look around the next time you're in church. I didn't say this applies to All mormons... but it makes sense that because many of the original mormons had the same fathers some of these characteristics would remain among their descendants.

jkc: this is pretty funny considering i know essentially no one that meets her description (that's not counting my two brothers-in-law, ryan and bryson: both have flaming red hair). we already know they're both aberrations though (however, that would explain an awful lot).

Ok I was raised Mormon and have since left the church. For one thing, the church does try to cultivate this image of "shiny happy people" that don't ever do anything wrong. THe general impression I got was that if they could have gotten away with telling kids that babies came from a stork, they would have. The church is incredibly repressed as far as anything remotely sexual is concerned. And as humans we are sexual creatures. Missionaries or not, every Mormon guy I've ever know goes swimming without a shirt. It's not as if they're posing in a g-string. They're still respecting themselves. Nowhere does it say we can't be proud of our bodies. According to what they teach, we're all made in God's image after all, so why not show appreciation for that? The problem is because the church has cultivated this "image" anything that might be individualistic and outside their "guidelines" is frowned upon. Heaven forbid their members should be real people in any way shape or form. Good on him and good on the models. They all have my support.

jkc: mom... is she right, babies really don't come from storks? how could you have lied to me like that all along? i used to feel so repressed, but not anymore... i actually feel like i can walk around in my g-string with my head held high thanks to this girl's comments. in fact, why don't we try to get a hold of this girl's email so we can send her your modeling portfolio to prove that some mormons are very proud of their bodies?

that's all the individualism i can handle tonight. i am dangerously close to the church's mandated limit. if i think anymore, my repressed mind and slanted forehead might explode. that or the angry mormons going after mr. davies might come after me.

i might sleep but i will never dream.


Sunday, July 6, 2008

bay area and back

a couple of weeks ago we packed up el santo and headed to the bay area for the weekend. why you ask... we love spending money on gas and driving for 9 hours with three young boys. actually, that's really not the reason. the real reason we headed back to the bay area was threefold: 1. we missed it really, really, really bad 2. i needed a break from bar studying (so i only studied on the drive up and back while aim drove) and the biggest reason: 3. two good friends of mine got married in menlo park.

we had a great time. the weather was warm when we got there, but it cooled off quickly. it was nice visiting old friends and favorite places. special thanks to the halls for putting up with us for a few nights. you guys were wonderful hosts and very hospitable.

we also especially want to thank whit and debbie for inviting us to their wonderful wedding. i worked with whit and debbie at pwc back in the day. they are two of the greatest people i have ever met (no hyperbole there). i know some of you are wondering, and just so we are clear: while whit is short for whitney, whit is a man and debbie is a woman. whit is from texas.

moving on... the wedding was great except for the fact that i missed most of it because we thought our boys might actually sit still and enjoy the ceremony, but that's what studying in a car for nine hours will do to you. instead, i spent most of the wedding out in the hall with caleb and colston. nonetheless, i enjoyed what i saw. moreover, the reception in san francisco was amazing. the place where we ate was right on the bay and the weather was beautiful. we had a picturesque view of the bridge and the water. plus, after we finished eating whit and debbie surprised everyone with a cruise on a yacht (i think it was a yacht, could have been a ferry, but that's way too susceptible to bad jokes given the setting and the timing) out on the bay with dancing and cake cutting. we made our way under the golden gate bridge and back alongside a stunning panorama of one of the coolest cities in the world. unfortunately, i left the camera in the car and so i did not get any good pics to share. that evening was just what aim and i needed. we are very glad we went and grateful for the good friends who invited us and the new friends we made while there.

before we left, we made our way to santa cruz for a half a day at the beach. the boys were in heaven. aim was in heaven. i was in bar studying heaven which is more like hell. i tried to make the most of the situation by studying on the beach while the rest of the fam played. good times. fortunately, i did have the camera for the beach and got some good pics, but before you all get too excited, you'll need to realize that there are no pics of me in my swimwear.

take a peek at the video. hopefully we will get some photos from san francisco soon that we can post here.


iinitiate the blog

iinitiate the blog