the backyard

we are just about done with a feat of no small proportions (even though it was accomplished on a very small portion of land): our backyard. we have been in our house for over a year now and during this entire time we did not have a landscaped backyard. this, of course, isn’t the worst thing in the world, unless, of course, you have three boys that are borderline ADD candidates in which case only summertime in lv without ac and sitting through a ute defeat over byu are only worse (excluding sin and all that more seriously bad stuff, of course). so, aimee and i were intent on putting in a backyard this year and sometime before the heat induced comas brought on by june, july, and august in lv arrived.

to kick things off, we spoke to several landscapers in an attempt to get a bid on what it would cost to install the backyard of our dreams on our little plot of land. we were somewhat disillusioned by the responses we got as the landscapers either wanted to turn our backyard into a concrete jungle or charge us too much money to do what we wanted. the guys just wouldn’t listen, or maybe they were listening and just didn’t understand english. consequently, we looked at the budget, totally ignored it, and called shane marlowe.

who is shane marlowe you ask? shane is probably the best looking ward clerk to ever serve in that capacity in the history of the church. it just so happens that shane is also very experienced in working with his hands… he’s from rexburg, idaho for crying out loud. i have only met a few other people from the st.anthony/driggs/rexburg, idaho area, and in spite of their penchant for calling a remote control the “channel box”, a movie theatre the “show house”, or an automobile an "outfit" (so, if shane compliments you on your outfit, it is possible that he is referring to your car and not your matching j crew spring wear) they are actually pretty stellar individuals (and i am not just saying that because my in-laws are from that area).

that being said, i must pause to consider whether shane’s good looks and exceptional ability to work are properly attributable to his idaho roots or the fact that he served a mission in argentina. you see, shane served in a mission where real men go: argnetina resistencia. it is entirely possible that shane’s dashing good looks and exceptional work ethic are a direct result of his time in the argentina resistencia mission. pretty much everyone i know who served in that mission and worked hard is now good looking and has a solid work ethic to boot.

in the spirit of full disclosure, i feel compelled to admit that i, too, served in argentina resistencia mission, and it just so happens that i was there when shane arrived as a young green pup ready to tear up the campo.  and to support my theory, i don’t remember shane being nearly as good looking when he arrived as he is now; so, there you go: shane fell prey, as many of us did, to the benefits of serviving in the argentina resistencia mission and left the humid plains of chaco, argentina a better looking man and a harder worker than when he arrived. of course, you are free to decide the merits of my proposal yourselves, but i felt it important that you have all of the background information so as to make a fully informed decision on your own.

back to the backyard: i had shane come over because we needed some concrete in the back and i wanted it stamped and stained and i knew that shane was skilled in the ways of stamped and stained concrete. i thought if he and i did the concrete by ourselves, aim and i could save some sweet moula on the project and be one step closer to the backyard of our dreams. i explained this to shane as we stepped out into the backyard on a pleasant friday evening to discuss business... leaving the women and children safe inside, of course, i was met with a surprising reaction. after shane briefly surveyed the lay of the land, he confidently proclaimed that he and i could do all of the backyard (not just the concrete) by ourselves in just a few days. i got nervous. i have an issue with commitments. especially ones that are time consuming (i am in law school and i have a job and a family... in reverse order of importance, of course).

while i did not doubt shane’s hardy vision of he and i completing what seemed to me a gargantuan project (given my skill-set for landscaping matters), i found it hard to believe anyone working in tandem with me in landscaping matters could accomplish such a task. moreover, i did not share shane’s seemingly apparent disdain for paying someone to do manual labor on my behalf. i think there is some unwritten law that lurks in the potato fields of idaho and that seeps into the hearts and minds of all idaho farm boys that creates some kind of genetic phenomena that physically disallows them from paying someone to do work they can do themselves (maybe that’s why shane is in way better shape than i am). in fact, shane was ready to start working on the yard that night (i think shane does this kind of stuff over breakfast... in fact, i think shane took over the construction of his home, sent the workers home and finshed building his own house about half way through just because he could).

thus, whenever i tried to suggest to shane that i could just hire a landscaper to do everything except the concrete, he would look at me as though i were less of a man… or at least less of an argentina resistencia returned missionary. my manhood and my missionaryhood had been challenged and i could not back down, and so i agreed. neither of our wives were terribly thrilled at the suggestion, but the stars were aligning as shane was in between jobs at the time and i was about to have spring break.

so, the project began and, all in all, thanks to shane’s expertise and assistance, it wasn’t that bad. it felt good to get out of the office and stretch the muscles a little. i learned a lot about cleaning tools while the more skilled participants poured concrete as well as returning the wrong equipment i bought for the right stuff.  most importantly, though, the backyard turned out really, really, really nice. if you don’t believe me, check out the pictures. come roll around on the fake grass if you like (fully-clothed, of course). by the way, i uploaded the pics myself… as if i would pay someone to do that for me.