Tuesday, September 15, 2009

i read the notebook, then watched the notebook, then grew a mustache (in that order)

yes, it's true. i read the notebook. maybe you're all laughing out loud at me like the three guys i told over lunch the other day (thing is, one of the guyss laughing had actually read a walk to remember... what? the audacity!) aim recently checked the notebook out from the library and read it in a day. sounded suspicious to me and i like to look into suspicious activities, so my natural curiosity, coupled with the fact that mrs. blogmaster thought it would be a good idea, prompted me into agreeing to read the book (notebook, that is) to her before bed each night.

don't judge me.

i started reading the book about a week ago. it only took a few nights to complete it. i would read it each night... out loud, of course... while being careful to constantly check see if aim was awake. no way was i reading that thing to myself, this was a classic example of taking one for the team (the thought alone makes me feel like i'm morphing into a woman).

i got through it and, in the end, i actually enjoyed it (although the detailed descriptions of old age were a little depressing, especially since alzheimer's runs in the family). funny thing is, while i was reading the book, i kept relating personally to each of the main characters in a different, but major, way: the main chick was a painter trying to make a difficult choice of whether to stay with her fiancee or drop him and go back to her old flame... i like to paint and don't ask about the other part; then there was the main romantic hunk who could make women melt in his calloused from hard work hands by simply reciting and writing poetry ad nauseam (and he liked crab)... i like to write poetry and the other comparisons should be obvious (and i like crab); and then there was the fiancee lawyer who also had dashing good looks, but worked too much... 'nuff said.

i found i was constantly likening myself to these characters and when i decided to make mention of this to aim thinking she had drawn the same comparisons, she asked which one i felt related to and how. the first one that came to mind was noah, the romantic poetry reciting dreamboat guy and so that's what i said, to which aim incredulously replied "really?" ouch. she wasn't buying it. i can dream.

anyway, we finished the book and... believe it or not... since neither of us had ever seen the movie, we decided to watch it before mrs. blogmaster took off for the weekend. and we did. i enjoyed it, but at the risk of sounding cliche let me just say that i liked the book a little more. the movie wasn't bad (i know that may be seen as sacrilege in most women's eyes), but it just wasn't all i was hoping it would be based on the plethora of females who declare this to be the most romantic movie ever. sorry ladies.

and that was that.

next thing i knew, aim was taking off to idaho for a wedding reception. not long after, i began the arduous task of regaining some personal machismo by spending the weekend participating in manly activities with my three boys.

first order of business: grow a mustache. nothing like a mustache to make you feel like a man again (try it sometime, women... if you're ever curious. it's cheaper than a sex change and less permanent), plus we had a cowboy themed event to attend on saturday and i swore while attending the same event the prior year that come hell or highwater i would don mustache at the event the following year (this year). for the inquiring minds of the zombie faithful: yes, that event was the one held at ms. kitty's ranch. go back and read that post on the ranch for one of the all time cooperfive greats.

btw, thanks for the cowboy hat, erik. it looked great.

with that in mind, i didn't shave all week. i was getting pretty scruffy come saturday afternoon, but i'm a little mustache/goatee challenged so it wasn't all bad. i let it grow though, and on the night of the event i carefully manicured the facial hair down in an attempt to get some handlebars going. yeah.

unfortunately, facial hair doesn't grow really well at the edges of my mouth so after bic'ing off the rest of the growth, i essentially had a mustache and two patches of hair at the bottom of each side of my mouth. it looked a little freaky and probably would have scared the kids so i shaved off the outliers and just kept the 'stache. unfortunatelier, my mustache was pretty weak and didn't garner a single comment all night. needless to say, i was feeling pretty disappointed on that account but not any less manly (i could feel it inside). perhaps i should have let the chest hair flair like i'd originally planned? but it just wasn't working. anyway, take a look at the pics and bust out the magnifying glass so you can spot the 'stache. i'll give it a month next year.

regardless of my stubble, i think we all can agree that the 'stache was sufficient to get my man card reissued. funny thing is, i got this crazy idea that mrs. blogmaster and i should read another book that appeals to the feminine mystique. go figure. long story short, we decided on twilight today (i am on a quest to see what all the fuss is about and whether it is worth it... i'll be sure to let you know).

here's the thing: aim lent her copy of twilight to someone and hasn't gotten it back yet. for some odd reason, she's scared to ask for it... maybe it's hot. problem with that is that we've got to strike while the iron's hot... who knows for how much longer i'll be willing to read twilight? so, with that certain sense of urgency in mind, while discussing the quandary with aim on the phone today, she suggested that i ask one of the members of the world-wide twilight cult that i work with (don't kid yourselves women, you're pretty much all a part of it whether you want to admit it or not). for that matter, i probably could have asked any random female on the street and odds are she'd have a copy.

my reply to aim's request: "aim, that's like asking me to buy tampons for you." no man should have to do this. we will, but... i'm not even going to explain.

so, just as i've done the latter for my wife before, i fell on my sword and asked the grand wizard of our office's branch of the twilight cult if she happened to have a copy of the book on her and if i could borrow it if she did. she had three. unfortunately none of theme were on her person at the time and so aim has been charged with coming back from yoga with a copy tonight. we'll see.

lucky for aim it's a full moon and i can feel the feminine nature in me taking over already.

alright, as usual, this has gone on for way too long and is starting to get a little our of hand. so in an effort to make things more sensible around here once again, take pause to enjoy the handsome young cowboys in the pics below (all four of them). oh, and if c-town's pants look a little too tight, that's because they are... more on that coming soon.







4 comments:

Kelly said...

Jeremy:

I have Twilight if you want to borrow it. The problem is I lent it to someone and they pretty much thrashed it. Fortunately, it is still bound, barely, and readable. So let me know if Aimee doesn't have any luck finding it at Yoga! Loved the pictures and had a hard time finding the mustache even with the magnifying glass! :) :) j/k

Megan said...

She obviously had no luck at yoga! It really is NOT worth the read, but if you feel you must, you must.

emcghee said...

I have a copy of the book if you still need it! I love the idea of reading a book out loud at night together, Ben wouldn't ever go for it though. I loved the movie, "the notebook," I am-after all-female.

Wranglers are supposed to be tight, very tight, so I think you were good on that front. And I could see the 'stache in the pictures. But I don't know that I would have if I didn't know I was looking for it!

the cooperfive said...

kelly,

thank you for offering twilight. the twilight cult leader at my office gave me a copy of hers and i am 7 or eight chapters into it. next year i'll have to spend two weeks growing out the 'stache... or just get a fake one. glad you like the pics.

megan,

are you really a female? i didn't think it was possible to carry the xy chromosome and not totally love twilight. like totally.

emcghee,

reading out loud isn't so bad as long as your wife stays awake (if what you're reading is the book equivalent of a chick flick).

agreed on the wranglers, but cajoling this particular pair onto colston was borderline child abuse they were so tight. but some would say he looked cute, so it was worth the uncomfortableness.

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iinitiate the blog