the flight of the coopers: 11 years and counting

i thought i should get a jump on this my latest post before tomorrow rolls around seeing as how tomorrow is my and aim's 11th anniversary as a married man and woman. that's right, eleven... and we still haven't had our first argument except that we have had lots of arguments with each other and other people over the course of our blissful marriage (we argue with people indisciminately, not just each other). we like to argue, we'll i do... aim just plays along 'cause she loves me.

generally, i would prefer to drop a post like this on the day of, but since i will be whisking aim off on some wildly romantic dream date for two people who have been married for eleven years tomorrow night, i thought i better get the post out of the way while i still have the strength and stamina.

let me just say that our marriage has been a bit like an experience we had a few years ago while traveling to orlando, florida to see aim's dad put in as the president of this service organization he is a part of. i will recount the experience in three acts, each representing three significant stages of our married life together. i'm not in the mood to draw out the symbolism, so you'll just have to do that on your own. why should i have to do all the work here, blog zombies? i will allow you to make your own inferences. best of luck divining.

act one: the flight of the coopers

when aim's parents informed us that they would be flying us out to orlando for a few days to attend kimbo's inauguration, we got excited. for starters, this was during my first or second of law school (who can remember anymore since they're all a hazy blur in my mind) and when we were living with my parents. i seem to remember us having the entire upstairs all to ourselves, but i also seem to remember there being these two little people always sleeping in our room and following us around. could have been jameson and caleb, but, honestly, who knows anymore?

my point is that privacy was at a premium around the cooper household and even though my parents rarely made it to the nether regions of their house, read: the upstairs (i have literally only seen my dad in the upstairs of his house once in the last ten years and when i did i nearly called national geographic to photograph the event since it felt like a yeti sighting), it still felt like someone was always watching us. put succinctly, one does not realize the importance of privacy until it is hard to come by. needless to say, the thought of spending some time in florida mano y womano sans childreno sounded about as good as _______________ (insert your ultimate guilty pleasure here).

suddenly, we were inspired and had something other than final exams to look forward to and we anxiously awaited the day we would take flight. at last it came, and despite my upbringing by jeff cooper, sr., we were running late to the airport and were checking in luggage.

father, i have failed you.

eventually we get there and start checking in our bags when aimee notices on my itinerary the words "first class." no way, i thought. there must be some mistake seeing as how kim and gaylin booked the flights for us. i mean, i'm a model son-in-law and all, but the forecast in hell wasn't predicting any snowfall that day so it was highly unlikely that they were sending me to orlando in style... especially since aim's ticket made no mention of any first class stuff.

oh, i forgot to mention, we were flying on separate flights because of frequent flyer points and other similar stuff well beyond the comprehension of my puny mind. bottom line, i thought the first class stuff just meant that i was going to be in the first boarding group (read: i generally only fly southwest).

boy was i wrong. to make matters worse, like i said, we were running late... dangerously late and the terrorist threat level must have been at fluorescent lime green because the security line was a mile long and moving at a snail's pace. this was unfortunate... for aimee, but not so much for me seeing as how i was able to bypass the commoners who were moseying along in the "normal" security line and take my rightful place in the first class security line. i felt right at home as i was expeditiously escorted through the first class security line and along to my gate. sad thing is, aim's flight left before mine and her line wasn't moving very quickly at all.

oh, i forgot to mention, aim was pregnant and she gets morning/afternoon/evening sickness really bad... emphasis on really bad. lots of vommiting at any given moment.

i had the decency to wait for aim at the top of some escalators on the other side of the security check, and then wait some more, and then wait some more. i actually started to get a little worried for her, especially when i heard the airline paige her name over the airport intercom. i'll spare you the suspense and tell you that she made it, but if i'm not mistaken, the plane's door was shut and she was probably seconds away from missing her flight by the time she got there (i guess i shouldn't have made her kneel down and kiss my rings upon passing through the commoner security line... would have saved some time). thank goodness that didn't happen since it probably would have screwed up my chances of flying first class. but she made it, and as her luck would have it, it was a full flight... meaning the only available seat was at the back of the plane (you know, the ones that don't recline) and better yet, it was right next to a couple of hung-over irishmen.

this was going to be a long flight.

as for me, i calmly made my way over to my gate and waited until they allowed the first class passengers to board before the common folk and comfortably rested myself in my oversized chair towards the front of the plane in the section that is separated from the coach people by a curtain (i mean, who really wants to have to look at those people anyway... i shouldn't be made to feel guilty for my indulgences) as the stewardess immediately came up to me and offered a drink.

jeremy: "why not? how about some cranberry raspberry juice?"

stewardess: "excellent choice. have you ever tried it with a twist of lime? you have got to try it!"

jeremy: "why no, i have not"

stewardess: "oh, it's fabulous. here, i'll get one for you, and if you don't like it, i'll make you another one."

well, she was right, it was fabulous. who would have thought a little twist of lime could make such a big difference? the stewardess. thing is, the plane hadn't even finished boarding yet and i already had a freshly prepared drink.

this was going to be a beautiful flight.

close scene.

act two: the flight, the arrival, the labyrinth

right now, some of you may be asking, "blogmaster, why did you not give up your first class ticket to your child-laden wife?" i would have, my blog zombies, except that security more than likely would have disallowed it. at least i'm pretty sure it would have since i didn't asked and saw no point in doing so since i am usually right about things like that. but i thought about it and that should be sufficient.

as you have probably guessed, it was a tale of two different flights for mrs. blogmaster and me.

on my end, i enjoyed comfortable and spacious privacy while the stewardess brought me warm moist towelettes to cleanse my hands just in case i had accidentally touched any of the peasants in coach before i snacked on my bowl of warm cashews.

conversely, aim enjoyed the confined and upright company of drunk irishmen who were spilling over into her seat. oh yeah, she probably got some roasted peanuts and a cup of ginger ail as well. of course, she didn't keep any of it down as she passed some of her time throwing up in the airplane lavatory (that means really small and gross bathroom where even the women miss the bowl and get it on the toilet seat).

me: after i'd had my fill of warm cashews and juice, i dined on a succulent meal of chicken and pasta with a brownie for desert. i also think i had another cranberry raspberry with a twist of lime.

aim had some more peanuts and ice chips.

and that's how it went all the way from vegas to dallas to orlando. for those of you who were wondering, it turns out i wasn't supposed to have gotten a first class ticket. it was a mistake made by my sister-in-law, t-cakes. best mistake you've ever made, aunt tami.

no big deal though. aim wasn't bitter. none of this matter to us since we were just happy to be going on a vacation alone, for the first time in a long time... and the privacy, that elusive, yet enticing reward of privacy was but hours away. true, we would only have the privacy we so longed for for one night before aim's other sister and her husband got in from kansas, but one night was worth every minute of the five hours we spent in our respective planes... especially mine.

eventually we arrived and even though aim's plane left before mine i got there first. accordingly, and as planned, i headed to the rental car desk and made the arrangements to get our car so we would be ready to roll as soon as aim strolled into town. there i stood, with keys in hand, hardly able to contain myself at the thought of cruising off to the hotel room with aim so we could play some cards together.

my phone rang...

aimee: "where are you?"

jeremy: "i'm standing right in front of the rental car desk. where are you?"

aimee: "i just landed, i'll be there in a second."

a second passed and the phone rang again.

aimee: "ok, i'm here, where are you?"

jeremy: "what are you talking about? i'm standing right here and i don't see you."

aimee" "avis rental car, right?"

jeremy: "right."

aimee: "well, i don't see you and i'm here."

jeremy: "that doesn't seem possible because i am standing right here and i was tanding her first. you're in orlando, right? is there an hispanic person at the front desk?"

aimee: "no, there is an african american woman (and, yes, we are that politically correct), hold on a second..."

(aimee talks to person at desk and discovers that there are actually two terminals in orlando and she was on the opposite side of the airport).

figures. obviously, some unseen force was trying to keep aim and i from having the hours of deep conversation in the comfort and privacy of our own hotel room we had planned to have upon arriving in orlando, but that force's efforts were futile. we would have that heart to heart if it was the last thing we ever did and we were going to be happy about. nothing, and i mean nothing, was going to dim our spirits. we were going to make this work and be happy about it regardless of the obstacles placed before us.

eventually, aim made it to the other side of the airport and we hopped in the car and drove off but not before i grabbed the mapquest directions from the luggage we threw in the trunk. aim suggested that maybe we get the google map directions that she also printed out just in case the mapquest ones weren't clear.

"are you kidding, i'm a man. i don't need directions. besides, they're in the trunk and i don't want to waste another second getting out of the car, opening the trunk and getting out the directions... there are so many things i want to talk to you about when we get to the hotel that i can't stand to lose another second getting another set of directions out (paraphrased)"

...

2 hours later, at an early one in the morning, we still hadn't found the hotel. orlando's freeway system can be a bit confusing in the dark. and those dang disney people own so much land. but, we weren't discouraged. we were excited and happy and determined to continue our excitement and happiness for the remainder of our lovers' get away... well, lovers plus aim's family get away.

at last we arrived. safe and sound, giddy as all get out, and ready to watch "a walk to remember" as soon as we got into the room.

we made it.

scene fades to black.

act three: aim really likes candles

there we were at the front desk, ready to check in and get the show on the road. i look at my phone... only 2 am, that's 11 pm pacific standard time... i'm not tired... i don't even go to bed until midnight in vegas. that means i've got 2 hours until i even start getting tired. i'm pretty sure aime felt the same 'cause she kept smiling at me and giving me that "look." you know the one. the "i can't wait to read scriptures and say family prayers with you" look.

this night's only just begun, yes, yes, oh yea.

life was good. we were minutes away. you could taste the anticipation it was so thick.

where's that key dang it!

front desk person: "we don't have a reservation under your name, mrs cooper. could it be under another name (aim's parents were getting the room for us)?"

aim: "can you try kim hodges?"

front desk: "i'm sorry there's nothing under his name either."

aim: "ok, let me make a quick call."

no big deal, we'll have this resolved in no time at all, and then... couple's scrapbooking!!! alone, just the two of us... i was getting all silly just at the thought of it.

aim pulls out the phone and calls her mom. i sit there listening to one side of the conversation.

aim: "we're here... blah, blah, blah... they don't have the room for us?"

aim: "ok. we'll be up."

aim to me: "my mom's glad we're here. she said tyler is, too. (tyler is aim's little brother, he was probably 13 at the time) he's been waiting for us. in fact, he's asleep in our room and will be staying with us tonight."

silence. cricket chirping.

at that moment, something died inside me. gone was the heart to heart conversation i was hoping to have with aim, gone was the scripture study and family prayer i was looking forward to, no couple's scrapbooking, no "walk to remember," no painting aim's toenails...

gone.

gone.

gone.

figures. but, that's ok, i guess. we're still on vacation. aim's parents were nice enough to cover all costs of the trip. let's make the most of it. all those activities will just have to wait for some other moment when the kids are asleep in our room at my parent's place.

but wait, it doesn't end there...

we eventually made our way up to the room lacking the skip in our step we once had. we got inside and aim's mom came over to welcome us. aim and her mom got talking and i thought i would go ahead and do some unpacking so i threw the suitcase on the bed right in front of where aim and her mom were standing. i then unzipped the bag and threw open the top only to discover, unbeknownst to me, that aim had decided to pack some of her more saucy under garments right on top of everything. i guess she wanted to be able get to them rather quickly. there they were, in plane view for everyone to take a gander at and when mine eyes beheld the glory of this wondrous sight i couldn't help but smile.

aim, on the other hand, who, along with her mom, had a front row seat to the sultry collection of silks and the like was less amused as she hurriedly grabbed the flap and threw it shut. as if that didn't draw any attention to the suitcase's contents. obviously, it doesn't bother me as i'm blogging about it, but aim is a little more modest than i am. which is why she travels with lingerie.

... and candles, which also made a little bit of noise when she slammed the suitcase shut. yes, she brought some candles and they were also close to the top of the suitcase. she's a great planner. one thing she didn't plan for was her little brother, tyler. for instance, the following morning, when we were all getting ready and the suitcase was opened (the unmentionables were now hidden, but the candles were not), pre-pubescent tyler caught a glimpse of the candles and, being completely perplexed at the thought of bringing candles on vacation, the curious lad quizzically, and naively, inquired "you guys must really like candles or something?"

"why yes, tyler, as a matter of fact we do like candles."

end scene.

and that was how it all got started. the vacation, not our marriage. but like that trip, our marriage has been somewhat of a road less taken full of unexpected twists and turns. it hasn't always been easy, in fact some times it has been downright hard. thing is, i can't imagine having gone through these last eleven years without aim.. especially since i don't have much of an imagination. no, seriously, i have a great imagination... and there is no one i would rather navigate the ups and downs of life with than my little aim.

thanks, babe, for being the lifeblood of our family. happy anniversary. i love you (aim, that is, not you blog zombies... i love you, blog zombies, but i'm not in love with you).