it was everything i dreamt it would be... or was it? his greeness experiences "twilight" the movie for the first time

it's a modern day phenomenom i'd heard. the greatest thing on paper since harry potter they said. every girl, woman and man whose wife requested that he read the book had read the book. everyone was doing it. at times i felt like i was missing out on something... depriving myself of something that maybe i deserved. afterwall, it was natural, if by natural you mean that there's nothing natural about learning to read, write, type, invent computers, printing presses and then mass distribute a fictional story.

of course i'd received offers and solicitations to read the book or see the movie from people, but i turned them all down... i was saving my viewing of twilight for someone special... someone i'd want to watch twilight with for the rest of my life. and who other than mrs. greeness? she was the one for me. from the minute i saw her staying up until two in the morning reading twilight and barely able to function the next day because she was so tired, i knew i would spend the rest of my twilight reading and viewing days with such a woman, although i'm not sure she did at first.

it took some time, i wasn't about to open up the twilight shop for just anyone. i played coy to keep her interested... she'd ask me to read twilight on occasion and i'd turn her down even though deep down inside i wanted to read it just as badly as she wanted me to. eventually she suggested that our relationship was mature enough to move on to that next level... the twilight level. in a way i felt ready, but at the same time i felt a little confused... "how do i know she's the 'one'?", i would ask myself. "how did my dad know? my mom was the one he wanted to see twilight with?", i thought.

i'd ask all my guy friends at work about it and we'd spend hours giggling over how romantic it would be to sip hot cider in front of a warm fireplace gazing into the eyes of our significant other in some rain forest in oregon as we watched twilight together. i pictured it in my mind over and over... i wanted everything to be perfect for my first viewing. i even talked to a few of the more "experienced" people at the office who had already had some casual twilight viewings with other people just to get some different perspectives and make sure i'd covered all my bases.

still, i wanted to wait until i felt ready, maybe until we could formalize the viewing of the movie with some kind of ceremony just so we would realize the significance of the commitment. but i nearly called things off when i found out that aim had actually already seen the movie with some other people. i won't lie, that hurt... at first i wasn't even sure i could view twilight with someone who had already seen it with someone else... and in the theater nonetheless!

we talked a lot about this... in fact, we nearly decided to never view nor speak of twilight together again, but aim admitted to me that her previous viewing of twilight meant nothing to her, that it was just some dumb thing she was doing to fit in with the in-crowd. in fact, she assured me that even though she had viewed twilight with other people while she was viewing it she was thinking of me the entire time. i wasn't convinced though.

but the way that aimee pleaded with me again and again, over and over... and she was so sweet about it. she'd buy me flowers and chocolates, she'd open the door for me, ask me for my opinion, pay for dinner... she was the perfect lady. she was so adorable in how she courted me i couldn't help but give in and so i promised her the first weekend the movie came out on dvd, we would watch it together... i was ready. she and i, together... and edward and bella, as well as some other vampires, werewovels, and dorky oregonians. what more could a guy ask for for his first viewing of twilight?

at last the night arrived... it felt like ages had passed, but, no matter, it was here and we were about to take one of the most important steps in our relationship ever... i mean it... ever. at first it was a little awkward. i tried to impress aim by setting up a new receiver for our surround sound so she could see that this meant a lot to me. i thought i had it all planned out perfectly, but something was wrong with the dvd player and the picture was in black and white. i was a little frustrated and embarrassed, but aim took control of the situation, and soon enough, the movie was playing in color and it was beautiful.

just like edward and bella, the two of us leaned back into the freshly vaccumed carpet of our cozy loft and got lost in each other's gaze... i think my eyes even changed colors. aim told me she didn't have the strength to resist me anymore and then said one of the most romantic things i have ever heard... she said "you're (meaning me) like my own personal brand of crystal meth." i melted like rock in a crack pipe. i was all hers. she had me at "crystal."

with that, we started the movie and once the initial strangeness of the black and white dvd and people sucking blood out of other people because they either want to kill and eat them or because they unequivocally love them enough to want them to live forever all while some kind of age old blood feud with an indian tribe of werewolves is starting to boil up, i was able to relax and get through the movie. i enjoyed it, but it didn't quite live up to everything i'd heard about... i had to wonder, "is this really the twilight i'd heard so much about all my life? it must get better with the books.

after it was over i was ready to cuddle up with aim and talk about our experience of viewing the movie. i wanted to communicate and let her know how it made me feel, but all of sudden aim wasn't as interested in me as she was before the viewing, but it was late, so we jumped into bed and i started to ask her some of the burning questions i now had on my mind:

"so, is that james guy gone? does he show up in the other books?"

"what about the black vampire? does he show up again?"

"when do the werewolves come out to play"

but all my inquiries were met with short grunts and an "i'm tired and i'm going to bed" type attitude. i felt a little alone. i wasn't sure where aimee the perfect lady had gone. i guess it was past her bedtime. as such, i was left to sit and quietly ponder over the greater mysteries of the profound storyline behind the enigmatic twilight. in all fairness to aim, she'd had a late night the night before, i just thought the twilight night would be different.

in all seriousness, it exceeded my expectations, i guess, (how can i not at least respect a movie that ends with radiohead?) but i didn't read the book. i'm already dreaming about new moon. i think i'll stick with aim for that one... she's good to me.