"better here than hooters": aim graces the walls of walmart

we have arrived.

the day we all knew was coming is finally here... my wife is pretty much a supermodel.

it wasn't easy.

it required months, if not years, of telling people that we purchase organic food from whole foods, trader joes, and albertsons (not necessarily in that order) to develop the diet of a supermodel, spending countless hours and dollars at sears perfecting aim's money look at the glamour shots photo booth, and lots and lots of yoga to clear her mind and ease her conscience to prevent unsightly wrinkles from forming and help her get in touch with her socially acceptable spiritual side since organized religion spirituality is so uncool. yoga also taught her all these words in some exotic foreign language, all of which add to her visual mystique if she kind of squints her eyes when she says them.

like i said, it wasn't easy, but it was definitely worth it.

i'm sure you've already heard, or even seen, for yourselves, that mrs. blogmaster has made her way onto the walls of walmart. it's been difficult to get into the stores lately because of this new and highly popular attraction, but believe me this is something you will want to tell your grandkids about. even the hardcore idealists who have boycotted walmart in favor of target to protest corporate america are banging down the doors to see the pic.

let this be a story of hope and inspiration to all women out there who once had dreams of being a supermodel.., yes, you can... be a supermodel, too. even if you've had 3 kids. even if you don't starve yourself to death and use illicit substances to maintain a wild and crazy lifestyle. all it takes is some initiative and a friend who knows someone who takes stock photos for a living, and the world of being a supermodel is all yours.

now, i can't promise that you'll all end up on the walls of walmart... i mean, c'mon, it's walmart... and it's one of walmart's walls... the flippin' store is named after walls... not just any supermodel can end up on one of walmart's hallowed walls. you've got to have the look that mrs. blogmaster apparently has. so, don't get your heads too far into the clouds 'cause for every walmart wall supermodel there's a dozen "enter zipcode here" magazine or thrifty nickel models, which are both well respected publications, but, hey, let's not kid ourselves, they aren't walmart tire center walls.

i kid. i jest. well, kind of. aim is on the walls of walmart... at least in las vegas... at least on one wall and, as far as we know, in one walmart, so i would appreciate it if you would all go into the automotive section of your local walmart to see if aim is in a picture on the wall putting colston into his carseat (like the one above) and report back. the picture is crazy beautiful. it's sexy, cutting edge stuff, maybe kind of wierd and too moderny artsy kind of stuff for some of you, but dang sexy nonetheless. i'll let you be the judge.

i personally think aim could have shown a bit more attitude in the photo. you know, she could have released her inner tiger some, maybe a growl, maybe a paw thrash... but what do i know, i'm just a semi-professional blogger. aim thinks her backside looks a little big in the shot, but i told her not to fret, walmart's photoshop people are all over that. i blame it on the photographer. fortunately, we won't be having that problem in the future since we'll have our pick of the litter from here on out.

aim's parents saw the photo spread for the first time a few days ago. i don't think they were ready for it. aim's dad reluctanlty admitted that it was "better there than hooters." i think aim's mom was confused. that wasn't the daughter she raised. they should have known... vegas will do that to you. i think they'll come around though, they are accepting people.

as for the future, we're expecting an "aim on the walls" of walmart clothing line, perfume line, and figure she'll be hosting multiple parties at various nightclubs here in town, so we may not have time for a lot of you. don't you worry though blog zombies, our newfound stardom will have no affect on my blogging abilities. it would take a lot more than my wife becoming a world famous supermodel who'll be recognized and idolized by the massess to deter me from my blogging loyalties. plus, you all got in on ground zero, so i won't turn my back on you, not now... not when you need me most. we'll keep it real.

i know times are tough with the economy and all and that this blog is all some of you have to look forward to each and every day. i'll be here for you. i am a man of the people. i wander among you. i eat at taco bell with you (i'm the one ordering the tostada, bean burrito and chicken soft taco). if you were to see me on the streets, you'd most likely not even know it was me unless you recognized me and wanted to get a picture with me or an autograph or something... just for the record, i'm fine with that, but it doesn't really matter since you most likely won't know it's me.

my point is, i'm not too famous for you now. no matter how many times i'm on the cover of people magazine (even if it's because we just had a kid and they wan't to publish some of the baby photos), no matter how many times i host snl, no matter how many days in a row i wear a different pair of true religion jeans, no matter how many of my kids i send to private school (i might even pay double the tuition or enroll them at multiple schools just for the fun of it), no matter how many suvs i buy (hybrid, of course... we're green), no matter how many people i get in my pyramid scheme downline based solely on my popularity, no matter how many times extra does an exclusive on mrs. blogmaster and me, even if they start calling aim and me "jeraimee", i will not turn my back on you, my faithful blog zombies.

thing is, i just hope we can all still relate seeing as how aim and i are pretty much celebrities now.