the cooper five's top five superheros: the origin of the postmaster

i realize i am behind on my posts and for that i apologize. i started work this week, so things have been a little hectic lately.... but, i vow to make up for lost time with short, yet substantive, posts. i think many of you have become hedonistic gluttons as a result of my spoiling you with such long posts. i realize that at times my posts can be a bit overbearing, much like a meal at a typical restaurant, and though you know you should not keep eating that footlong burrito at the cheesecake factory because of the cheesecake you will be eating for dessert (i mean, c'mon, it's the cheesecake factory.... are you allowed to eat there without having some cheesecake?) and the coconut shrimp you had as an appetizer, you pound away until you've taken the entire burrito out.

yes, my posts are long, and they are full of all the juicy, fattening, yummy-tasting stuff that creates blog reading love-handles and cellulite. i am concerned for you and your clogged arteries and brain cells and for that very reason i am planning to offer a low mental calorie alternative to my previous blog posts until i catch up or you regain previously lost intelligence.

thus, it is with pleasure that i introduce to you the first of a much leaner and more sinewy variety of cooper five blog post: the top five superheroes in the eyes of the cooper five. i feel it is appropriate that superheroes are the inaugural subject of the jenny craig version of cooper five blog posts since i have only seen probably one superhero with any fat on his body (the blob) and no one really likes that guy anyways. as such, without further delay, i present to you the cooper five's top five superheros (by the way, i got this idea today when jameson handed me a piece of paper on which he had written down his top five superheroes for no apparent reason other than to make sure he has published to the world the ranking of superheroes in his eyes. so since this is jameson's idea, we'll start with his list):

jameson's five:

1. batman tied with star wars. no surprises here. dude's been a batman freak ever since i can remember. granted, star wars isn't very specific and technically not superheros... but i'll let it slide since we went and saw the clone wars yesterday.



2. hulk tied with transformers. i think his recent viewing of the hulk movie probably gave hulk a boost in the rankings he might not have enjoyed otherwise. no biggie. see comment above regarding star wars with respect to transformers.



3. avengers tied with teen titans. solid choice. both has a stellar array of superheros worthy of this spot. i predict that avengers will move up on this list as the motion picture and all its individual movies continue to show.



4. superfirends tied with galaxy rangers. ok, so he only put four (but they were all ties) on his list and he took the easy way out on this one... i mean, superfriends pretty much hits them all. as for galaxy rangers, i'd have to say that's all my and netflix's doing. check them out some time on line as i am sure the majority of you have no idea who they are... goose is the man.





caleb's five:

1. superman: superman is to caleb what batman is to jameson. it's a nice contrast. i like it. kind of reminds me of my brother and me... i was always a batman guy and jeff, superman.



2. batman: 'nuff said.

3. flash: he likes him because he is fast.



4. hulk: he got a toy of him from macdonalds... what's not to like.

5. robin: he loves teen titans.



jeremy's five:

1. the postmaster: you have probably never heard of this guy, but he will soon be a household name. he can usually be found posting on this site. his mission in life is to keep the legions of cooper five fans satisfied with noteworthy blogs. i cannot reveal his secret identity or he may lose his uncanny ability to write such vibrant, witty and engaging posts. his super power is to become so wrapped up in his writing that he forgets that most people don't care. this is also his weakness.

2. batman: hated the old franchise (tim burton). complete garbage. absolutely love the new stuff. the batman cartoon is easily the best cartoon on tv and it's not even close. long time fan.

3. green lantern (hal jordan): childhood favorite. got to be one of the coolest superhoeros ever created... what's not to like about a ring that does pretty much anything? interesting that two of my top three are dc guys since i only read marvel stuff growing up... but the cartoons are what did it for me... marvel was a latecomer to tv.



4. wolverine: he's the guy that got me hooked on comic books. if there is a cooler comic book character than green lantern, it is wolverine. he's way too popular now though... not as fun to like as when i was in sixth grade. although, i'm anxious to see how the movies turn out.



5. iron man/cyclops/the incredibles: iron man is only on here because of the movie. robert downey, jr., was amazing in this role. can't wait to see more. cyclops is about as underrated as a superhero as there is. i thought he was always getting a bum rap by some of the other x-men and the movies completely underplayed his role as an x-men. would like to have seen him in a role that was more true to the comic book. as for the incredibles, easily one of the best movies i have ever seen. thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it... especially loved its subtle james bond undertones.







aim's list:

1. she-ra: he-man, as a toy, was so revolutionary when it came out, little girls everywhere must have cursed their fathers' names for contributing the wrong strands of dna to their creation. it was good to be a boy then (it still is for me). i remember the first time i set eyes on the he-man toys in sears i about wet myself i thought they were so cool... it was as if i was catching a glimpse of the holy grail itself when i first saw he-man (furry loin cloth and all), skeletor, man-at-arms, stratos, trap jaw, battle cat, castle gray skull, etc.

he-man toys was so cool for boys and it was so unfair to simply relegate the girls to the likes of jem and the holograms, that the only logical solution for establishing toy equilibrium in the universe again was to create she-ra. it failed miserably. very lame stuff, but apparently my wife liked it. women, let me just say you were ripped off. you can take some solace in the fact that the cartoon for he-man ruined the franchise. besides, these guys aren't superheros anyway.



2. superman: every girl's dream. blue spandex and christopher reeves or the new no-name who looks kind of like him... need i say more?



3. flash: didn't even know she knew who he was. good for her.

4. my little ponies: cricket chirping...



5. strawberry shortcake: still chirping...



as you can see, i have done a much better job of educating my boys in the way of the superhero universe than i have my wife (although she did just say that wonder woman should be on here... too late). but, hey, at least she's making an effort and i love her for it. i would love to hear who your top superheros are, so post if you dare.

how's that for a lean post... maybe we'll start the diet tomorrow. besides, it's just the pictures that make this post's butt look fat.