the obligatory bar blog (there will probably be more)

i just wanted to send a quick note to everyone and let you all know that i survived the bar exam this week. love the bar exam. love texas station (the 2 diamond hotel/casino where it was held). love studying for two months straight and having no idea how i did on the exam. you have not lived until you have prepared for and taken the bar.

i know some of you are not the gluttons for punishment that i can be, so to help you share in the bar experience i actually hired a photographer to take pics of me taking the exam so all of you could catch a firsthand glimpse of this beautiful creature. i am still working on the slide show, but i assure you... it will be epic.

as a teaser: i've got several shots of me typing so fast you can't even tell i have fingers (that's because they are moving really fast). then there's the photo of me running my fingers through my hair for the fiftieth time in 15 minutes. how could i forget the countless photos of my lilly-white face with a blank, numb look of something in between confusion, desperation, fear and exhaustion. and what bar experience slide show would be complete without a shot of my elbows rubbed raw from the excess friction them and the table.

my personal favorite is the one taken two hours into the last four hour essay writing portion of the exam when i had to use the bathroom so badly my eyes were watering. why did i just not get up and go use the restroom you ask? how silly do you have to be to presume i was using common sense at any point during the bar exam? why would i do something so normal? i ate at mcdonalds for breakfast for three days straight. i shared a hotel room with taylor waite for three days straight (more on that in the future). i wasn't about to waste even a minute of precious typing time to go do something as peripheral as using the restroom. i mean, come on, five minutes away from my laptop!!! that translates into something like 250 words. layperson! you ought to be ashamed for even asking the question (that's an inside joke... i'm not speaking down to you... i'm not a lawyer yet).

anyhow, props to the photographer who did a stellar job of catching the determination in my tear-filled eyes and the uncomfortable curvature of my arched back as i strained every muscle in my body to focus on one of the demands at hand while forgetting the other. nothing, not even an unstoppable act of nature was going to keep me from uninterrupted typing for the remaining two hours. nothing except for my urinary tract. i finally got to the point where i couldn't hold it anymore and gave in taking my only bathroom break of the three day exam (and by only, i mean actually during the exam. i still used the restroom at night, in the morning, during breaks and lunches. you're up at night if you thought otherwise).

so, i lost 250 words or so thanks to my undisciplined urinary tract. i think he was doing it just to spite me out of jealousy since i am always talking about how great some of my other internal organs are and stuff. but my urinary tract did extend the peace pipe by sending me a whole foods gift card as an apology i guess. a very thoughtful and respectable gesture considering he may have cost me my legal career. that's alright. we'll see who gets the last laugh when i down a case of sam's bottled water and then spend the afternoon jumping on a trampoline and watching episodes of arrested development. he's just lucky he's not a kidney or an appendix.

now for the serious stuff if anyone is still reading. i need to thank all of you who said prayers for me and my family, brought stuff by for us, offered to help out, did help out, came by late sunday night for a blessing, fasted for us, called or sent texts wishing me the best and have since checked in to see how things went. really, i was very touched by all the love and support we received. i had no idea so many people needed me to pass the bar with the hopes of getting free legal advice someday (i'm sorry... i really can't help myself. my wit has no shame). thank you, everyone. you are all true friends i will not forget your concern for me and i am certain it had a positive impact.

lastly, i have to be a little cliche here and thank my angelic wife who has been an absolute life force for me and the family the last couple of months (last couple of months can be interpreted very broadly, ie 10 years). aim, i love you. you were clutch. you were the personification of selflessness and support. you have helped me re-calibrate my idea of what it means to be there for someone (even though you were out of town a lot). thank you. i told you i wasn't making fun of you.