time to get back to it

the vacation is over. i am sitting here in new orleans’ louie armstrong airport awaiting a flight to vegas. now aim and i need a vacation on our own to wind down from our vacation with the kids. we had a great time. the kids had a blast. i realize i am a couple or three posts behind, but i hope to make up some posting on the flight home. unfortunately, seeing as how i am flying with the kids (see prior post) it’s not likely i’ll get much more done than wiping noses, ordering drinks and opening bags of peanuts.

since today is another travel day (read: make-up post day), this post will probably be pretty short. i will comment quickly on the olympics last night to say that it was pretty dang cool to see the men’s swim team win the 4 x 100 relay. it was especially fun considering the trash talking being done by another one of the teams . actually, the race was downright amazing. the fact that the last american swimmer was able to close that gap on the french swimmer was nothing short of phenomenal.

the swim team has reinvigorated me to be a better blogger. when i get home i am going to shave all of my body hair so that i can type with more aerodynasticity (i just made that word up... it was either that aerodynamicsm or quickerness... look for the next edition of websters to have at least two of those words if not all three). i am also considering hiring an agent to get some new endorsement deals in the works. judging by the number of comments i am getting on the blog, my popularity is at all time high. i figure now is the time to cash in on my celebrity. blogging is a fickle industry.

it’s pretty stormy outside, which always makes me nervous when i am about to board a plane. i don’t like flying much as it is, but throw in a lot of water, thunder and lightening, and i like it even less. if the plane happens to go down, i at least hope we land on some island that has crazy magical powers and maybe some people that already live there that are pretty hostile towards us and who used to perform some crazy social and scientific experiments until there was some kind of genocidal conflict and some really rich guys fighting over possession of the island... oh, and a really big fat dude with super curley hair. that might make for some good blogging.

if we don’t crash on the island, i’ll just sell the rights to my life story. i want the guy who has recently done the james bond flicks to make the movie. i think he is doing good work and would accurately portray my cutting edge lifestyle. make sure he knows that i am happily married and so i can only be a one woman man in the show, but i would like to trade in my elantra for an aston maritn. i will settle for a bentley if the aston martin is too euro.

i recommend that jack bauer play me, but since he is a fictional character and keefer sutherland just doesn’t cut it on his own, i’ll understand if that can’t be arranged. daniel craig could play me if he can get the vegas accent down or mathew mchoughnhy (no idea how to spell his last name) as long as he cuts his hair, doesn’t talk like a redneck and does a few more push-ups.

i think my arch-nemisis should be played by someone who has a limp and a mechanical limb. doesn’t matter which limb is mechanical, but it has to be a visible one... not his kneecap or something lame like that. i also request that he have a pet alligator and an electric eel that he carries around in a portable saltwater fish tank. i’m thinking a mix between ernst savro blofeldt and the joker (heath ledger, not jack).

just in case the technology is not available yet to create the special effects necessary to really give people a clear idea of what i go through day in and day out, i suggest that a digitally animated version of my life be done. i choose the guy who plays obi won kenobi in the upcoming “clone wars” movie to be me (as long as he shaves his beard or at least does a half-beard) and that lucas films be in charge of everything. lastly, just so all my bases are covered, if my superhero identity is discovered and they decide to do a superhero version of my life, i’m thinking robert downey, jr. or christian bale... go figure.

well, we’re up in the air now. so far, so good. if we enter a death spiral, i’ll be sure to type my final blog and ask the pilot to place my laptop in the black box so that it will be protected. hopefully, the attendants will promptly respond to my page, because they usually don’t and i imagine you don’t have a lot of time to get stuff done when in a death spiral.