Wednesday, June 10, 2009

a point of clarification: a birth announcement is in order

not more than two days ago i sat in the safe and quiet confines of my humble office space, most certainly pondering the absurdities of some estate planning scenario, when my blissful condition was suddenly interrupted by the humming vibrations of my cellular telephone. i know that buzzing sound like the buttons on my ten key... text message incoming! sure enough, a text message had arrived from none other than the ever so lovely mrs. blogmaster.

texts from aim are always an event. some tend to scold, while others tend to intrigue... i never know which is coming, but one thing's for certain, each is downloaded with heightened anticipation. such was the case the other day as i toggled from my phone's main menu to the text messaging screen and quickly ascertained the intent of her message upon reading something to the effect of...

"so and so read your blog the other day ... blah, blah, blah ... asked me if i was pregnant ... blah, blah, blah ... you're in big trouble (but she typed it in caps - sorry, alex, i just can't go back to that)."

uh oh, i thought as a piercing jolt of nervousness reverberated up my spine, i've gone and done it this time... there's still time to retract the statement and exact some damage control. i can type a new post to clarify everything... there's still time, all is not lost.

but wait, i told myself, as i surveyed the message once more, there's a little smiley face guy made out of a colon and the closed end of parentheses at the end of the sentence, one of these cute little critters:). never before had a noseless smiley face looked so good. i was safe. no need to unnecessarily delay my drive home tonight, i thought to myself. she's certainly smiling on the other end of that wireless communication device.

of course, the comment she was referring to in her message was the one about me admitting the possibility, and i repeat possibility, that the cooperfive may, and i repeat may, become the coopersix someday, and i repeat someday. just so we're clear, possibility does not equate to certainty, may does not mean are, and someday is not synonymous with nine months from now. i, of course, was merely speaking on a theoretical level and merely hoping to spark global debate on the dangers of this rogue family harvesting yet another nuclear child capable of mass pandemonium. we are currently awaiting un sanctions.

at least this is what i meant when i wrote the post, so once i saw the smiley punctuation guy and knew i was in the clear, i couldn't help but reply by saying:

did i say that? my bad. guess we have to get pregnant, can't mislead the zombies.

i was joking, of course, but just in case i haven't been clear, aim is not pregnant and we are currently not in the throws of getting pregnant seeing as how i'm currently in the throws of typing this blog post. that would require some versatility.

maybe someday. but right now, the latter three of the cooperfive are dishing out more than we can handle. to convince aim to go for numero cuatro is going to require some uncanny charm the likes of which aim only sees on special occassions like my 100th post on this blog: a little martnelis, some champagne glasses, a walmart bouquet of flowers, some chocolate and coldplay... she'll never know what hit her.

alright, i've got to break from character for a second to let you know that there's a pbs special on tv right now about noodlin' catfish. if you have no idea what "noodlin'" is, google it or youtube it and you're in for a treat. you've got to admire these guys... no shame. if i didn't know any better, i'd think this was a mockumentary.... a guy just said he doesn't do it for the "glamour." beautiful... i can't think of anything more glamorous than noodlin'. caleb is watching it with me. i think he's found his dream job. aim and i can only hope... we should be so lucky.

back to the post.

all this pregnant talk reminded me of the time i first found out aim was pregnant with jameson, our first. i remember it as if it were yesterday. i was sitting in our bathtub in the super old-school colonial home we were living in at the time (why wasn't i showering? well, the house was so old it didn't have a shower. that's right, two years or so without a shower but lots of trips to the in-laws to use theirs)enjoying my relaxing bath one morning when aim walked in and made the announcement. we weren't planning to get pregnant at the time, so the news was met by me with sudden shock followed by a stupor of silence.

not quite the reaction aim was needing as it was quite a shock for her too, but like i said... i was pretty surprised, plus i was naked in the bathtub. i wasn't really equipped to deal with the news at the time. seriously, what was i supposed to do? jumping up out of the tub and giving her a hug just didn't seem appropriate given the mood and surroundings. honestly though, having jameson was the best decision we never made... that experience elevated our family and we've never looked back, unless of course wondering why we ever had kids at times is considered "looking back." just kidding. kind of.

anyway, i almost forgot, the birth announcement that's in order is that there will be no births in the cooperfive in the near future, but, keep in mind, "near" is a relative term.

3 comments:

Chandy said...

I leave for the weekend and haven't been in blogland for several weekends and see this heading. I was ready to celebrate for your new addition! Maybe "one day". Our fams need to get together soon, it's been too long!

emcghee said...

Well . . . . you had me going back and forth trying to predict the future of the post.

In my opinion the Mr. & Mrs. blogmaster make some incredible kids! # 4 would be a welcome event. IF/WHEN it ever comes.

the cooperfive said...

chandy,

i agree on getting together, that's why we dropped by last night unannounced. i love it when people do that especially when it's bathtime/bedtime for the kids.

emcghee,

thank you for the compliment. i heard coop got a haircut, i'm dying to see what he looks like.

iinitiate the blog

iinitiate the blog