happy Christmas from the cooper five

it's 8 am Christmas morning and i'm the only one awake in the house. how weird is that? i have been siting in bed for about 45 minutes waiting, thinking the kids would have been up by now... they've been on pins and needles for at least a month... but not this morning.

they haven't gotten to that point yet this morning where they slowly start to regain consciousness and all of a sudden, in a murky haze, realize it's Christmas morning and then awaken at a pace that's probably not healthy for one's mind. at that point, it's time to awaken the rest of the siblings and then the parents, who are usually still trying to sleep off the hangover of late night present wrapping and toy assembly from the night (or morning) before.

i guess the boys are a lot more patient than i give them credit for... i, on the other hand, am feeling very impatient. so impatient that i picked up twilight, which, by the way, has been a very slow read for me, in hopes that it might put me back to sleep... no such luck and no geeked up kids still. only one thing left to do, author a blog post to my zombie nation on Christmas morning. it's the least i can do to demonstrate to you, my loyal minions, that i, too, am loyal and dedicated to your wants and needs... because what better Christmas gift can i give you than a snarky blog post to start the day off right?

after all, the garbage trucks rumbling around outside signaled to me that the garbage men are still working on Christmas morning, and if they are, why can't i? i can. and i will.

speaking of garbage trucks, does anyone else's garbage men change up the garbage pick-up time on you at will? i swear our guys are playing games with us... messing with our minds. they lull me into this schedule of 10 am in the morning for a while to the point that i don't feel like i need to put out the trash the night before... plenty of time to take care of it before work. but, then i all of a sudden hear the indistinguishable rumblings of the big truck's motor, in the thick of a pleasant morning slumber and instantly realize i have about 5 seconds to get downstairs and out to the street before i'm stuck with the unpleasant unpleasantries found within the cylindrical walls of our garbage can for a few more days.

by then, it doesn't matter what i'm wearing or what my hair looks like, i dart out of bed and race down the stairs, open the garage door and hurriedly prance over the cold cement with a garbage can in hand just in time to greet clark county's finest with our waste... "top of the morning to you, gentlemen."

back to Christmas...

Christmas came especially fast this year. life has been frantic, as usual (i'll spare you the details). i generally enjoy the days leading up to Christmas as much, if not more, than the day itself. the overall general mood and feeling that permeates life this time of year is as close to euphoric as i think this world can get. lovely. then Christmas comes and it's gone for a year... i always feel the formation of a little hole in my soul as the 25th passes and day number 26 rolls around. thank goodness new years is right around the corner and helps chase that downer feeling down. is it just me?

yesterday was a hectic 24th, here are some highlights:

we handed out cookies to friends and neighbors until we ran out. if you didn't receive any it's not because we don't like you, it's for one of three reasons: we ran out, you weren't home and we knew it, or you weren't home and we left them on your doorstep but then went back a few hours later after we ran out to see if they were still there.... if they were, we reallocated the goods to another family that decided to stay in town (Christmas cookie rationing). true story, but not my idea (actually it was my idea, but i didn't think mrs. blogmaster would take me seriously. she did). hopefully you read this part of the post before mrs. blogamster makes me remove it.

after delivering cookies, we did some last minute Christmas shopping. i felt it incumbent upon myself to continue my tradition of purchasing Christmas pajamas for aimee and it was just as awkward this year, if not more so, than it was last year. if you haven't read last year's post on the matter, you should.

after wrapping up all the shopping, we headed to my parents for the traditional run of Christmas eve festivities which pretty much consist of everyone spending way too much time preparing food, the cooper clan inhaling more carbs than they should in about 20 minutes, and then everyone spending way too much time cleaning up the remains... all while we essentially have a contest to see who can talk the loudest and the most. it's a jolly good time.

aim made some really, really good garlic mashed potatoes. i made some homemade ice cream (nutella flavored with bananas). that was good, too, but, when i was making it, aim handed me some outdated sweetened condensed milk... i'll let outdated ingredients slide sometimes if they aren't too old; but, i have to draw the line when the date of expiration was in 2004.

my mom's relatively new annual tradition of getting everyone some new pajamas to change into continued on this year for about the fifth or sixth year straight. you never know what kind of pjs you'll be asked to year. for example, one year the guys got sugar daddy bottoms, which i never wore. but, lately the selections have been much more presentable. this year wasn't too bad for the guys, but the girls' pjs look like some kind of kung fu master concoction. see for yourself, this is what we are wearing in some of the pics.

we reenacted the nativity with the grandkids playing all the parts and my older brother jeff reading as the narrator. he does a great job enunciating and projecting his voice when reading... this is likely a result of jeff's living out his unfulfilled dream of being a sports broadcaster or because my parents gave us such a hard time about mumbling and enunciating while growing up that we have been scarred for life and feel like we have to go over the top a little whenever we're reading in public now. either way, i'm just glad he's willing to read.

***
if you'll recall, those three asterisks mean that time has past since the preceeding paragraph. this is true. since i last blogged that paragraph, the kids woke up and Christmas happened, hence, the inconsistency in the time space continuum within this post. no, the earth is not reverse rotating.


santa got aim an iphone. he got me a cashmere sweater for a sickeningly cheap price i'm told (for the record, i've never owned anything made from cashmere and i don't get what the big deal is.... yeah, it's soft, but so are certain types of toilet paper). santa, or aim, also got mrs. blogmaster this pink vest with rabbit fur. i've never seen a pink rabbit before (panther, yes... rabbit, no), but since the two of us have iphones now, not to mention a cashmere sweater and a pink rabbit fur vest, it's quite possible we are poised to become the most powerful couple in all of las vegas. watch out.

i also got lots of socks which means i am officially an old dad.

all in all, it was a grand Christmas. the boys were pleased with their presents (jameson commented that he was so happy, he could cry) and i'm not planning on exchanging anything i got... something i'm notorious for. in closing, merry Christmas to you and yours and here's to a prosperous new year!