i'm monetizing the blog which is another reason while i'll never be a ninja

i'm secure with my masculinity. i have no problem being a male blogger. that's kind of unique and i think the market recognizes it which is why google has offered to let me monetize my blog. actually, it wasn't just an exclusive offer to me since it's a link on everyone's blog, but i'm sure the higher-ups at google were pleased when they saw that i accepted the invititation. of course i had my artistic integrity to worry about seeing as how i'm a purist when it comes to blogging and didn't ever want anyone to think i was doing this for money, unless of course i could actually make some money... then i would sell out, which apparently i did.

furthermore, i'm not sure what this does to my amateur status as a semi-professional blogger... will i still be able to compete in the world blogging olympics in 2012 if i'm making money off myriad endorsements? i guess if i'm good enough, the usa will make sure i'm there regardless of how many mini-coopers my blog sells.

i think i kind of warmed up to this whole idea of selling stuff on the blog upon getting a comment from some spammer trying to get me all geeked out over her disney collection she apparently sells on-line. never heard of the lady, never went to her website; however, i'm certain she has sold millions of mickey mouse hats since she posted a link to her site on the cooperfive. just in case you're lost, i mentioned obama, mickey mouse and disneyland all in the same sentence a few posts back and the next thing i know some disney junky's posting an advertisement in the comment section for her online disney store... must have been the obama comment that got her thinking she could advertise for free on the site. more power to her, i guess (at least she left a comment).

anyway, here's the comment from Minako (note her excessive use of the term "hoho" and by excessive i mean using that term even once... that's way more than enough, even though i say "hoho" all the time when talking to people):

Hi.. I love Disney too! Hoho and I found HK Disney stuffs here as well: disneycloth.cwahi.net

Hi... just happen to cross your site... I see that you also love Disney... me too...

Im planning to go to Tokyo or Hong Kong Disney this Christmas. Hoho and I found some stuffs from Hong Kong Disneyland here as well:
disneycloth.cwahi.net

I will definitely take tones of photos there!!!

minako's post got me thinking... if she can make tones of money off the cooperfive, well, why can't/shouldn't i make tones of money myself? so, i clicked on this monetizing link in the backstages of the blog which said it would display ads in the sidebars and after posts based on the content of the blog because, apparently, adsense wants me to make some money... sure they do. now, all of a sudden, i've got all these ads for mini-coopers, single moms in debt, navy moms, good housetips for moms... products and services that are definitely consistent with the content of this blog. seriously? the mini-coopers i can handle, but the single moms in debt and navy moms... where did that come from? they do realize i'm a man, right?

here's the thing: we just got back from san diego. it was a fun trip/cooper family field trip for which i'll post some pics later. for now, all you need to know is that we went to the wild animal park for an overnighter with the lion king on the sarengeti. it was good times except that i didn't sleep too well in the wild animal park provided tent and sleeping bag pad mostly because we had to borrow three sleeping bags for our family of five. why does that matter you ask? here's why:

aim assigned sleeping bags as follows: our two sleeping bags, which were adult sized sleeping bags, went to jameson and cabes based on the reasoning that if they sprung a leak during the night it would be in our bags rather than those of fellow blog zombie chandi f. fair enough. thing is when i borrowed the other three from the fabrizis, i told chandi's husband that we needed them for the kids and so he gave us at least one kids bag which is, of course, the one that i ended up with for some odd reason.

have any of you ever tried to sleep in an undersized sleeping bag? how about an undersized sleeping bag in a tent in the unusually warm weather of sd to the soothing sounds of elephants snoring and lions groaning? i tossed and tugged on the bag until about three in the morning when aim finally demanded that we switch bags for all of our benefit. upon switching, i slept like a baby for about two and a half hours which is approximately four less hours than what i needed (it also didn't help that i forgot to bring a pillow).

as is usually the case on coopertwentysix (the kids were along for the ride this time) family field trips, we were up at the crack of dawn, but this time it wasn't at grandpa's behest but rather the tour/program thing we were on's tight regimented schedule (no wonder grandpa wanted to go). so, we rolled out of bed, unshowered and hungry, had some breakfast during which time grandma kenna came strolling over all bright eyed and bushy tailed asking how we all slept.

i said, "not great." my sister jodi said something similar to which kenna jo replied with a sprite but oblivious, "well, i slept great!" why is that oblivious you ask? here's the thing (there's a lot of "things" in this post), kenna jo and big jeff spent some extra bones on a premium tent set-up which included a big old bed for the big old bodies... yeah, mom, of course you slept great... you had a friggin' bed while the rest of us common folk enjoyed the comforts of a foam pad! in fact, my sister jodi said almost the exact same thing to her... though i'm not sure it registered. marie anoinette and a comment about letting them eat cake comes to mind.

the point:

my point in mentioning the trip is that while there a photographer started snapping some pics of our kids out of the blue. generally i'm used to being swarmed by the paparazzi seeing as how i'm a semi-professional blogger and my wife is a walmart wall model (something i pointed out to the guy behind the counter of the autoshop section of walmart the other day upon paying for the oil change they had just done for me before heading to sd... "see that woman up there? that's my wife... and the car, you just changed the oil in it" he seemed impressed as he said she was a nice looking lady (for the record, i agreed), but he didn't give me the discount on the oil change i was hoping for... that's the last time my wife poses for walmart, unless, of course, they ask her to again), but we'd gone to extreme lengths to keep this trip a secret from the press so i was somewhat surprised at the impromptu photo shoot.

next thing i know the lady taking the pics is asking me all these questions about the kids and saying she writes for some family fun magazine and is the traveling mom who keeps her own blog, blah, blah, blah. likely story... i've heard it all, i offered her fifty large for the pics and to just let us enjoy the rest of the trip, but she demanded 75.

all right, so i'm lying about the offer, but i'm telling the truth about her job. thing is, we were all sitting around talking to her (she was very nice by the way) and one of my brothers in law couldn't resist mentioning that i have a blog thinking that a woman would actually think less of a man for maintaining a blog and that we would all have a good laugh at my expense... this is the problem with my brothers in law, what they don't realize is that telling a woman i have a blog is pretty much like telling a woman i really enjoy romantic comedies, long walks on the beach, communicating about feelings, painting toenails and preparing candle light dinners frequently. women respect a man who can blog (which might explain the single mom ads). so, the attempt to ridicule me pretty much backfired, but don't let that stop you, my friends.

thing is, my brothers in law (i boycotted hyphens for this post... they take too much effort to type) are right, blogging isn't all that manly which most likely means i could never be a ninja as long as i'm a blogger since ninjas are pretty manly dudes regardless of what hollywood tries to tell you (see crouching tiger hidden dragon). i'm pretty sure that in real life, most strong, to quite strong, ninjas are men who don't blog. who's ever hear of a blogging ninja? exactly.

even if i didn't blog though, i realized the other day while walking to the bathroom at work listening to my ankle crack and pop with every step i took i had no hope of ever being a ninja anyway seeing as how it would be darn near impossible to sneak up on someone with that built in noise maker... and, c'mon man, what good is a ninja who can't sneak up on someone? i'm better off sticking with blogging.

but, truth be told, i'm alright with that: i gave up the hope of a sizzling ninja life long ago when i decided to go for a taste of the glory as a semi-professional blogger. besides, how likely is is that i'd have met and fallen in love with a walmart wall model as a ninja? not bloody likely... maybe a whole foods wall model, but probably not a walmart wall model... just kidding.

bottom line: i sold out and am now advertising thanks to minaka. as such, you should buy a mini-cooper or get some debt counseling via the cooperfive so i can make a little coin and go into blogging full-time. happy shopping.