belated birthday wishes to big jeff, little bry bry, and hose

before i get started, just a few quick thoughts on the absolute masterpiece unfolding before my very eyes: high school musical three. i could dedicate an entire post to this movie, in fact i just might someday soon; however, i am not sure that i want go into too much detail on the blog about it since my mom reads here and this may tip her off as to the existence of the movie.

i can only hope she hasn't seen the show and i'm almost certain she hasn't since she would most likely spontaneously combust as a result of the all out sensory overload she'd experience from the grip of overacting, bad acting, quirky writing and complete disconnect with reality (not that there is anything wrong with movies being unrealistic): all of which comprise the perfect ingredients to an exceptional church roadshow. what plink floyd's the wall is to heroine addicts, high school musical the roadshow would be to my mom.

kenna jo was the road show queen in her day. she loves everything about amateur church theater... and what's not to love about a bunch of deacons/teachers/priests running around on stage dressed like the fruit of the loom fruit guys and dancing their hearts away to a reworked rendition of the beatles classic, "i wanna hold your leaf (or, hand)"?

as a matter of fact, deep down inside i think she secretly hopes that andrew lloyd weber will somehow get a hold of the multiple videocassetts held under high security at her house of the roadshows she wrote and directed and demand that she write/cast/direct his next production. and believe me, these were productions... just ask fellow blog zombie, megan. i'm sure she would love to reprise her role as letty lettuce (did i get it right?) from the 1992 classic, "welcome to my garden." it was hot.

back to high school musical. i loved it and by "loved it" i mean i laughed during it and when i say "i laughed during it," i laughed at it, not with it. mostly because it completely reminded me of my high school experience. i played a little basketball my freshman year. i sang in some church choirs and had some supporting roles in my mom's roadshows. my dad and i used to fight over whether i would go play basketball at byu or do musical theater at juilliard. all the coolest kids in my school were thespians and while i didn't do theater, i was still able to showcase my singing and dancing skills on an almost daily basis since our entire student body typically broke into song two or three times a day complete with professional choreography. it was totally awesome.

anyway, since high school musical reminds me so much of my dad, i thought i should wish him a happy birthday seeing as how he had one a few days ago. my dad is a cpa, which means among other things, as he likes to say, he didn't have the personality to be a mortician... ha, ha... and that he is very busy during tax season. as you may know taxes are due on april 15th each year and, ironically enough, my dad's birthday is on april 14th. that was some kind of cruel joke his parents played on him. being the party animal big jeff is, it's always difficult for him to hunker down on the 14th in his office and get those returns done when he could be out painting the town. actually, i don't think it's hard for him at all... that's just how he is. at any rate, happy birthday, dad.

apparently, my brother-in-law, bryson also had a birthday last week. you've heard about bry bry before... he's the cackling dentist. once he laughed so hard and vociferously at his own joke i thought his gums were literally going to pop and that he'd have to do dental work on himself.

easy on the chuckles, dr. l, you're getting a little old for that type of exertion. no sense in cashing in your chips prematurely and heading off to that glass castle in the sky before your time. and for the uninitiated, "glass castle" is a name that bryson came up with for that perfect business when it comes along. to further explain, every so often we like to get together and brainstorm over business ideas and names of businesses. bryson thought he had nailed the ideal business name when he dropped "glass castle" on all of us... and he was spot on provided he was talking about selling something on the home-shopping network or the antique roadshow. bryson, you know i love you, big guy... so, happy birthday and may all the drawbridges of life's glass castles lay open before you... just make sure you walk softly as you cross them since, after all, they're glass, man.

lastly, but certainly not leastly, my sister-in-law, hose. many of you may know her by the name given to her by her parents at birth: heidi. no, heidi, i didn't forget, rather i have been torn up inside over whether i should recount the story i'd really like to, but given the family friendly nature of the blog i've decided not to. don't fret just yet though, my zombies, we'll start slowly and see if i build up the confidence necessary to share the story the world deserves to hear.

in the beginning, heidi was naive. she's from utah where most mormons are perceived as living in something akin to a bubble. i lived in utah for 5 years, worked at a high school there and am married to a girl from the heart of happy valley, so i speak with some authority when i say that the proverbial bubble i hear so much of is a slightly over-exaggerated stereotype, generally speaking. that being said, i must add that some mormons in utah, like some mormons in nevada and california and argentina, etc., etc., do live in a bit of a bubble... and i'm not saying that that's such a bad thing, i'm just saying that that's the way it is.

in the case of heidi, it wouldn't be inaccurate in any sense of the word to say that she falls into the latter category, not that there's anything wrong with that. in fact, to say heidi is naive is somewhat of an understatement. as an example, her husband, quinn grew up on a farm in a very remote part of utah and i am convinced he had more exposure to the world in vernal, utah, than heidi did in provo, not that there's anything wrong with that. the funny thing is that heidi is oblivious to her naivete... which can be kind of funny sometimes, and downright embarrassing at others. either way, it's its own kind of beautiful.

take for instance the "foreplay incident." aimee, aka mrs. blogmaster, and heidi both used to drool over db sweeney in the all time classic the cutting edge back in their young starry eyed teeny bopper days. apart from db's exceptional skating skills and manly maneuvers in the rink, aim picked up (no pun intended) on a little line the woman from the movie said: "it's like foreplay." why she said what she did isn't important and i can't remember anyway, so don't worry about it. what is important is that my wife, being the innocent maven she was, had no idea what that meant and, as a result, asked her elder sister to explain.

at this point, most people who have no idea what they're talking about when asked a question will refrain from answering or giving an explanation. most people does not include heidi. no, my friends, heidi doesn't have to have a clue as to what she is talking about in order to speak. there's something to be admired there, i guess; but, there's also something to be worried about, as well.

in aim's case, when her sister offered an innocent explanation as to the meaning of what "it's like foreplay" meant which, by the way, was nothing even close to what it really meant, and then aimee, while at her dad's office in front of his colleagues, thought she'd show off her "mature" vocabulary by busting out the "it's like foreplay" line, big kim had some explaining to do. keep in mind aim was like 12 years old at the time. no wonder kim started getting gray hair in his thirties (note to blog zombies: kim is her dad, not mom... see prior post for explanation).

well, all's well that ends well, but it doesn't end there and we just don't have the time to review any and all instances in which something similar has happened with dear aunt heidi. regardless of heidi's various miscues, however, she is one of a kind. she is as dedicated of a mother and wife as you could come across. she is fun to be around because she usually says something pretty funny when you're around her, unintentionally. all in all, she is a genuine human being, the type this world could use a lot more of as long as such huamn beings are willing to curb their enthusiasm to answer questions innaccurately.

so, in closing, i will just say that even though i didn't build up the courage to share the story about heidi that i would love to share with you all, i will say that it had something to do with a fictional paper she wrote in eighth grade that explored in detail the make beleive nation of a people that lived in the land of bilbos... except that it wasn't the land of bilbos, it was the land of a word that rhymes with bilbos... a word that has "d"s in it instead of "b"s. you do the math. she had no idea. it was an honest mistake.

good for her.

makes you wonder what kind of jr. high school musicals were going on at her jr. high.

happy birthday... all of you.