Christmas pics and jamebo's utah b-day party pics: it was da bomb

here are some pics from Christmas in utah at the hodges... good times. also, there are some pics from jameson's b-day festivities in utah: a trip to lazer assault and the build a bear workshop. you will also notice the cake aimee prepared for jameson. no, you're not confused that black ball you see was jameson's cake. no, it's not the death star. no, it's not a bowling ball getting acupuncture. it was a bomb.

it actually looked pretty cool. what you can't see is the candles... well, they weren't actually candles, they were sparklers. aim thought it would be fun to add a little extra spark (kenna would be so proud of the double entendre there) to the birthday cake by using sparklers instead of candles. after all it was a bomb and that would make things more authentic... i mean, who doesn't want to feel like they are eating an explosive device as they celebrate someone turning one year older?

it was a great idea in theory. what kids doesn't like sparklers? what's more is my kids are a bunch of pyros, so it was the surest way to create cool parent birthday legend. like i said, it was a cool idea in theory... it was actually even a cool idea from an aesthetic standpoint. when the lights went down and the signing started, the pyrotechnics were in order as we all sat bedazzled by the sparkling display of light before us. wow.

then it started to get a little stuffy in the kitchen and some of us had trouble breathing. then we had to crack a few windows to let the smoke out and the really cold air in. then we had to withstand the stench of burnt sparklers in close quarters. no matter, the crisis had been averted and it was time to enjoy a forkful of ice cream and a weapon of mass destruction. i grabbed hold of my first bite and stuffed it into my mouth with great anticipation only to realize my sense of taste wasn't agreeing with the sparkler ash that had gathered on the black frosting as a distinct blend of amaretto and sulfur was tantalizing my taste buds in a way taste buds weren't meant to be tantalized. as caleb would say, "delicious" (it sounds a lot funnier when he says it).

no hard feelings aim. the cake and sparklers looked cool and as long as you got a piece not affected by the radioactive fallout of the ash, the cake was great... or so i am told.

in closing, let me just say that Christmas and new year's at the hodges was great fun and i'll leave it at that since i think i am about to break a record for the shortest blog post ever by me (not including the pictures).

opportunity village

here are some pics from our family outing to the opportunity village's magical forest. it was magical and there was a forest... it's not just a clever name.

picture catch-up

i haven't posted pics from some of the most recent family events, so the next few posts will be dedicated to pictures starting with pics from vegas' snow day.

jiffy boy, the quintessential big brother: he's in, he's out

to all you cooper five enthusiasts out there, i'd like to announce to you the commemoration of one of the grandest days in the history of cooper history: the birth of the eldest cooper child, jeffrey max. jeff is my older brother, well at least he is now. for about a month he and i are the same age, but for more on that go back to the post i authored earlier commemorating my birthday (12/2).

jeff is a junior, not in college (although it wasn't that long ago that jeff was a junior in college having gone to five different schools over the course of six or seven years to earn his ba or something like that), but in namesake. my dad's name is jeff, too, as is my boss' and now my nephew has the same name... but he goes by max. too many jeffs in my life. jeff is arguably one of the greatest big brothers ever to grace the face of the earth. jeff always gave me what i wanted even though it meant he got something less and he always stuck up for me even when i was wrong (not common); and since the title of greatest brother is determined by what a sibling let's me have or to what extent he is willing to stick up for me, jeff takes the cake. in fact, on occasion, when jameson is not living up to his older-brotherly duties, i have him call unlce jeff to get some pointers on how to be a better big brother.

for instance, if you ever have the pleasure of meeting jeff, ask him about the pair of shoes i bought for myself with money he loaned me and then sold to him for a profit. it's not as bad as it sounds, although i think he thinks it is. in my defense, it was an arm's length transaction between a willing buyer and a willing seller.

all in all though, jeff was a great friend to have growing up. since we were so close in age we shared pretty much everything from day one until he went off to school. i was done sharing boxers at that point... especially since when i met up with him in argentina after he'd been there for a year and i was just arriving, he told me the best thing about the country were the bidets because it meant no more skid marks for him (note to readers: this was a post leaving home/south american issue). for those who haven't had the pleasure of using a bidet, here is the wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet

my point is that jeff and i were pretty close. we quareled over a girl, we got in a couple fights for each other and with each other, we shared bunk beds, we coordinated hiding report cards from our parents together, i cheered him on as he tried to ride a skateboard on his belly under a truck and came out from underneath after not making it with blood running down his face and he was there when i ran into a tree stump on a moutain-side and came out from behind it with a stick stuck in my leg.

we were the dynamic duo in the dennis the menace sense of the term. during our younger years we let all the air out of our grandparents' car tires but not before we took the car out of gear and let it roll into the middle of the street. we poured hot sauce into a cup of v-8 juice when my grandpa wasn't looking and then coaxed him into drinking it, we painted the brick wall in my parent's backyard in an effort to make our own macdonald's, and we were thinking "green" long before al gore when we tried to see if our grandparents' lawn mower would run on urine. for the record, it didn't.

for those who know our children, you are probably saying "justo" if you speak spanish. if you don't speak spanish, you are probably just saying "figures;" but you'd really only be saying that if you know our kids and speak english. yes, our kids are the personification of revenge in our parents' eyes. they're a cute and lovable personification of revenge, but revenge nonetheless. a quick example would be pf changs in boston some five years ago. during one of the greater cooper family field trips to boston, we made our way to a pf changs in downtown boston. i don't think the servers and workers at this particular pf changs had ever seen a family consisting of more than four people, much less a family of two old people and six kids, three of which were married each having two kids of their own.

needless to say, because i said it in one of my last two posts, we were an overwhelming presence. Hi, we'd like a table for fourteen with three high-chairs... i mean, this wasn't utah. we were every waiter's dream better yet, every bus boy's dream. what's mroe, the cooper family feeding hour is not always a pretty sight... especially not when there are three high chairs involved. on this momentous occasion, jeff's kids were driving him crazy. food was everywhere, drinks were being spilt, crying, scolding, patience was wearing thin and tempers were on the rise (and that was just the adults, j/k)... the usual cooper outing.

well, apparently jeff had had enough of his kids' hellraising behavior... for as the rest of us talked, laughed, and argued with one another, we all of a sudden noticed jeffy boy pop up out of his seat and with a look of stern resolve/urgency/frustration on his face, he muscled his way over to jeffrey max the third to pick him up, high-chair and all (he literally lifted up the high chair by its arms while max sat in it), before marching straight out the front door with the high chair in hand.

i'm not sure what crossed through the waiters' and hostess' minds as they saw a patron burst through the main entrance carrying a high-chair with a kid in it... maybe they were just happy to see some of us leave and figured the cost of the high-chair was well worth it... at any rate, jeff had boldly done what none of the other cooper parents had done before: jeff had left the building with a pf changs' high chair. he eventually came back in and returned the high chair... and max had no visible bruises, so we all had a good laugh about it then and still do. it was a one-of-a-kind sight (are you supposed to say "an one-of-a-kind?" that just doesn't sound right). he was in and then he was out.

in closing, as has become tradition here on this fine and upstanding literary work known as a blog, i will share with you another choice "in and out" moment in the history of jeffrey max cooper, jr.... a little one i like to refer to as the glass coffee table.

my brother, jeff, and my sister, kathryn, had some pretty epic battles with each other while growing up. it seemed like they were constantly at each other's throats much to my parents' chagrin. i usually steered clear. maybe i exaggerate a little, or maybe i really deserved the "nephi" nickname my parents had given me as a child (as if)??? at any rate, on this particular night, jeff had finished his homework and was looking for something to do and what better way to spend your time than to annoy your younger sister who was busy trying to do her homework.

well, that's exactly what jeffy boy did right up until the point where not only kathryn was extremely annoyed, but my mom, too. so fed up with the antics of her children (the other two, not me), kenna jo drew an imaginary line in the carpet and told jeff to stay on his side and out of kathryn's space or there would be dire consequences when papa jeff got home. if memory serves, at that moment, kathryn, with the backing of the parental guidance, then let out a resounding, "stay out of my space!" as if that was enough to stop jeff from aggravating his younger sister... not in the least, in fact, kenna jo had just breathed new life into jeff's quest to irritate his sister to the point of near incapacitation.

and with that he fleetingly hopped from one side of the line to the other as if jumping rope, making sure each time he crossed the line into kathryn's space to dip his head down down low enough next to kathryn's studious ear just long enough to quip "i'm in!" before quickly jumping back to the safety of his side of the maginot line where he would glibly gloat "i'm out!" such fun was this little act of annoyance, that jeff repeated it over and over and over as kathryn got madder and madder and madder (not really a word/s). her anger only emboldened his behavior.

kenna jo was powerless at this point. jeff, jr. had intentionally disobeyed a direct order from the mother ship at the risk of sever repercussions when big jeff returned home, so he had to make it worth it. as such, he continued right up until the point when k-jew finally snapped and sprung up from her chair with the ferocity of a thousand suns... at which point we all knew something memorable was about to take place.

and take place it did. upon standing, kathryn gave jeff a good shove a couple of steps backwards after which she repeated "get!", and then repeated in rapid succession another two or three shoves each followed by "out! of! my!"; with one last grand finale shove followed by "space!" bold and noble, kathryn. but, unfortunately for her, and even more unfortunate for jeff, and even more unfortunate for the coffee table in tsunami kathryn's wake, neither of the two happened to notice that jeff's backwards trek had a coffee table with a glass top directly in its path. it just so happened that in the heat of the moment and the rapidity with which everything took place, no one was able to stop or warn the two warring siblings from the great event that was destined to happen: the fall... and great it was.

upon kathryn's final push sending, jeff tripped backwards over the table right into the living room's coffee table,backside first into a fragile seat of glass that shattered into a thousand, maybe a million, shards and went everywhere all at once. all while i sat quietly reading my scriptures or something like that. the crash was startling and luckily nobody was hurt, but everybody knew at that point that the real fireworks were only about to get started. but that's a story for another day, i've already passed the 3,000 word limit for this post i swore i would stay under from here on out.

thus, in closing, i would like to tell my brother, jeff, that i really miss that coffee table. it was a one of a kind table that i could always count on to be there when i needed some support. no matter how many times i used that coffee table, it still let me kick up my feet on it and use it some more and i don't even drink coffee. but, that's neither here nor there. jeff, you are the kind of brother we all should be (that can apply to sisters, as well). enjoy your 34th and know that i am forever grateful for your influence in my life.

poem and the book of kim

as promised, here is the poem i wrote for jameson's birth announcement and the book i put together for kim and his kimisms. i'm a lot funnier now than i was nine years ago so read on with a grain of salt. sorry, but i never got around to doing the illustrations... deal with it.

a new century was dawning
as well a new life
but one just not soon enough
for my child-laden wife

eight long months of discomfort
and times that were rough
if there were a towel she'd have thrown it
for she'd had enough

so i thought and i wondered
as my wife seemed to burst
and a plan i devised
on december the thirty-first

but our time was short
and i thought, just maybe
with the pull of some strings
we'd have the new year's baby

so i sat our son down
we spoke man to man
i explained the idea
and the strategy we planned

he then thought things over
in deep deliberation
he knew this would be it
with no reincarnation

so he made his decision
the first baby he'd be
and he started to knock
january 1st around 3

for him things looked good
an easy win he would savor
but another mom then arrived
and she was in labor

the mood soon grew tense
a pep talk was needed
so again we convened
and my counsel he heeded

defying all odds
he stuck to his decision
stared right into the eyes
of his newfound competition

he met it head on
and began to pull away
as the moon started to hide
and the night became day

grandparents and uncles
a few aunts and friends
were all cheering him on
yes, right 'til the end

a few critics and doomsdayers
then started to doubt
but around nine in the morn'
we all knew he'd come out

the end was now nearing
for mom's herculean chore
and provo's first of 2000
came at 9:24

emotions ran high
for the one that He'd sent us
we were so happy he'd come
our little jedi apprentice

a man named "kim" and first time full moon in vegas: birthday wishes are in order

yes, it is time again for a few more b-day wishes. one is a bit belated and the other is a couple of hours from joining it, nonetheless, let's do this.

for starters, my father-in-law, kim, had his birthday a couple of days ago. no, that wasn't a typo... kim is the name of my father-in-law i don't know why so many people find that so strange. maybe it's because kim is a woman's name 99% of the time. it's not really like the name "jordan" or "taylor" which are pretty much unisex names these days as they go both ways on about a 50/50 basis, it's more like jan or shannon: two names that on the rare occasion may be used on males (typically of scandanavian or irish descent), but more likely than not are what we like to call girly names here in the states.

alright, unfurrow your brow. in this day and age, we should all be able to get used to guys with feminine names. well, that's what you'd think, but it wasn't that long ago that aimee got an email from a friend of ours who is now living in denmark where she, apparently for the first time in her life, encountered a man named kim. she thought this was some strange euro thing. so strange to her was it that she emailed aim not knowing her dad's name is "kim" and said something to the effect of:" ... and we met this guy named 'kim'... whoever heard of a guy named kim???" funny thing is, not only is aim's dad named kim, but i have an uncle named "kim" and another one named "jan." so, i am perfectly used to being surrounded by strong male role models named after their moms. just kidding, that's not what my grandma's name was... kimjan, seriously? my grandma's name was jeraldine, and she went by "jerry" sometimes, which is a common guy's name by the way. go figure.

anyway, back to the email... i actually read the email before aim read it because i typically screen all of her emails. actually, i don't and i'm not sure why it is that i read the email first, but i did. let's leave it at that for the sake of my marriage, por favor. and because i am who i am, i had to shoot off some snide reply to our friend to let her know that not only is "kim" the name of aim's dad and my uncle but that we were both highly offended that she found the name of "kim" to be so amusing for a man. in fact, i told her aim was so offended that she couldn't even reply to the email. i laughed at my humor, like i usually do, and then sent the email. so easily amused. we haven't heard from our denmark friends since... just kidding, we just had dinner with them a couple of weeks ago. man, i'm funny.

my point is that having a unisex name can have its benefits. for example, my uncle kim once got a letter from his insurance company approving some surgical procedure like getting his fallopian tubes tied or getting a hysterectomy or something like that. i mean, what guy doesn't want a free tying of his fallopian tubes or a hysterectomy? how many guys can say they have had that done besides those pregnant man freaks who have been in the news lately? thing is those whack jobs really had to get pregnant and go through child birth and 9 months of pregnancy and all the concomitant glory to get their procedures done. all you other guys with unisex names can bypass the pregnancy woes and get the work done for free, well for free plus your deductible.

i know my father-in-law can be a little sensitive about his name and this is why i bring it up: so kim can know that even someone as masculine as myself... read: a guy who blogs... can find it within himself to respect a man named "kim;" especially on his birthday. and not only do i respect kim, i admire and and commend him for surviving so many years in a house where pms was an everyday round the clock reality as there were 4, sometimes 5, women under that roof at any given moment. no offense ladies, i've heard the stories and it couldn't have been easy... just the auto insurance, traffic ticket, and car repair costs alone would make jack bauer cower in fear. and that's not even counting make-up, weddings, and wardrobes. so, kim, from someone with as manly as a name as "jeremy," i salute you and your life's work. in the truest sense of the phrase, you are the man... named kim.

a little more on kim. kim grew up in idaho on a farm. i personally believe he is a farmer at heart and would prefer to wake up and work the fields everyday. instead he has settled for a shirt and tie type job as a stock broker. so, he's a humble worker at heart and yet he's smart, savvy businessman as well. in addition to that, kim seems to be one of the most patient and compassionate guys i know. he was such a good example of a husband and father to my wife that he has made my life that much more difficult. i am constantly trying to get out from behind the lengthy shadow kim has caste upon me in my wife's eyes, but i'm a better man, husband, and father because of it (in my opinion, although aim's may differ). lastly, while all these things i have mentioned about kim are great traits and characteristics to have, none of them are as noteworthy as his defining lifetime accomplishment: the creation of his own dialect.

maybe it was on the frozen plains of idaho, maybe it was during the market crashes of the eighties, or maybe kim was present when the tower of bable was struck down... man may never know; but, at some point over the course of one stanley kim hodges' life (i forgot to mention that kim's real first name is "stanley." i won't go there), a new, and until very recently unrecorded, language came to fruition. i like to refer to this dialect as "kimisms," but you can call it what you like. at any rate, in celebration of one of the greatest guys i know, i would like to share the culmination of my life's work (not nearly as great as creating a dialect): my efforts to record this rarely heard audio treat.

i am your rosetta stone to the tongue of kim. thus, with a heartfelt "happy birthday," i present to you straight from the hodges family vault for first time public viewing: kimisims (coming soon... i have to type out the book of kim... don't let that frost your cookies (you'll soon see what that means)).


never fear, that's not all i've got for you in this post. tonight you are getting a two for one deal as today we are also celebrating the birthday of my younger brother, kendall. funny that kendall is a unisex name, too. but enough of that nonsense. kendall is a special guy who, on the surface, can be summed up in about eleven words: james bond, video games, lakers, texting, rebels, cooking, books and unfiltered public commentary/acts. well, eleven words and 658 sub-explanatory words. here, take a gander:

james bond. kendall is a james bond freak. he's watched all the movies, read all the books and then watched and read them all again. kendall knows more than any person should ever know about james bond and that includes ian flemming.

video games. kendall's a gamer. he is the dream child for every parent whoever hoped to have a son earn a living playing video games. who knows, he still may someday.

lakers. kendall loves the lakers but i am sure you already know this since he has probably sent you several texts on multiple occasions letting you know as much.

texting. see previous comment. he likes to do it.

rebels. see comment previous to previous comment and insert "rebels" in place of lakers.

cooking. kendall has developed into an exceptional cook and we all enjoy having him around because he treats us to his various delicacies... just don't touch that grated cheese or other pizza toppings.

books. kendall has read more books than i wish i could read although he doesn't really read any books that i would read if i spent more time reading... but that's what makes him kendall, we wouldn't have it any other way.

unfiltered public commentary/acts. i won't go into too much detail here since i am trying to maintain somewhat of a classy feel to the cooperfive blog as i'm sure you have noticed; but, i will mention that sometimes it seems as though kendall's sense of humor got lost somewhere in the halls of keeny guinn jr. high and never found its way out. what's more is he liberally shares this sense of humor with the casual bystander who is fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of kendall the comedian.

typically, kendall will go through phases where he uses a one-liner over and over and over... he rivals bryson for repetition. there was the "kiss my butt" phase that jeff and i remember all too well and then there was the "oj simpson" "does anybody love me?" phases that i "unfortunately" missed while living in argentina, but heard all about a continent away. and how can i forget the faux and actual belching as well as other bodily gaseous sounds kendall has become quite adept at producing?

there have also been times when kendall has repeated acts that might be fine in the locker room or in a detention cell at county jail, but not so much in public when among mixed company or even in the presence of recently joined in-law members of the family. one such act was bestowed upon my lovely wife many moons ago, pun intended. as you can guess, the act was one the kids like to call "mooning." apparently, kendall never got the memo that mooning someone is not necessarily a stellar way to make a first impression, but i don't think it would have mattered even if he had received the memo... it wouldn't have stopped him, such a rebel (see above). either way, it definitely didn't matter one beautiful summer morning in the greater cooper family household during the young and tender years of aimee and jeremy's nascent marriage on a weekend visit to vegas. oh, the sights one can behold in las vegas...

i remember things quite well, but probably not nearly as well as aimee who was scarred for life, but all in all it was memorable. it was one of those mornings where things were rather, shall i say, hectic in the cooper house. and by hectic, i mean loud and out of control... not atypical for a cooper, but very atypical for a hodges. thus, the family was overwhelming the wife... both of which are easy to do: my family being overwhelming and aimee being overwhelmed. in her heightened state of anxiety, aimee must of been on the brink of a nervous break down and kendall must have noticed this because for some reason only he and the almighty know, kendall apparently thought it would be helpful to ease aim's tensions by sharing with her a not-so-private viewing of his backside. and with that he all at once dropped trow not more than 5 feet away from my innocent and unsuspecting lass.

for me, who was used to it, and my juvenile sense of humor, it was somewhat funny and a bit of a tension breaker. for aim, who was not used to it and did not have the kind of brothers who did this type of stuff (at least not at home), a full moon from kendall was something akin to witnessing the birth of satan incarnate. i still jovially remember the distressed and utterly shocked look of disbelief and offense on aim's face as she joltingly jeered at k-dog's cheeks and then turned to look at me as if to say "'do something about this' and 'how can you laugh at such sophomoric humor?'" and then back at the cheeks again (why the double take, babe?). she was literally speechless and expressionless. her breath had been taken away, but not in the tom cruise sort of way. in fact, quite the opposite. you could not have used a vulgar or debase enough expression right then to illicit a more incredulous reaction from aim in that very moment. welcome to the family, babe.

so, that about sums kendall up, that and that fact that he is a great guy with an incredible heart. he is a wonderful helper and is always up for a good chat. kendall, you, too, are the man. happy birthday to you, big guy, and may you have many more opportunities to share that glorious moon of yours with the rest of the world. we should all be so lucky.

new year's is for the birds

today is the day most people celebrate as the start of a new year. people take off work, watch football, shop, etc. all because a new year has started. what’s so cool about that? i am proposing a far greater reason to participate in festive activities on 1/1: jameson’s birthday.

yes, i may be biased, but i think the birth of this strapping young lad is a more worthy of celebration than some old tradition based on stars, the rotation of the earth around the sun and the ability of humankind to survive for 365 more days.

jameson is a special guy. i think he will always hold a special place in my and aim’s hearts because he was the first kid and he was the only one for about four years. he got in at ground level back when we were dirt poor students trying to figure out how to be parents. we know he wasn't after us just because of our money 'cause we didn't have any. the other two only came along after i got licensed as a cpa and was on track to becoming a lawyer. i'll always wonder whether they came and have stuck around because of the bling.

back to the man of the hour, all twenty-four of them.

jameson arrived in dramatic fashion. he was born on the first day of the year, so, naturally, he was a new year’s baby... but not just a new years baby, a millennium baby: the first baby of the decade born in the county where we were living at the time. kind of a fun way to start of the parenting experience. i don’t think we bought diapers for the first year of the kid’s life because of when he was born.

things worked out exactly how we planned. actually, they didn’t. jameson came 5 weeks early, so it was a bit of a surprise when aim woke me up around two in the morn and told me that she thought her water had broken. i realize i’m just a guy and it's a bit taboo for a guy to even try to talk about pregnancy as if he knows something about it, but i’ve always thought it would be kind of obvious if someone’s water broke unless you have a habit of wetting the bed. not so, i guess.

so, we weren’t sure if the water had broken, but we decided to play it safe and headed over to the hospital figuring they would send us home not long after getting there for a false start. turns out we were wrong. no sooner were we greeted by a bunch of nurses watching tv in the lobby when it was quickly determined that the cooper two was about to become a thing of the past.

like i said, the nurses were all watching tv when we got there. it had been a really slow night... an unusually slow night since the hospital we were at probably delivers more babies a year than any other hospital in the country. on this night, however, we were the only ones there. everyone must have still been out celebrating the new millennium. that or they were too worried about y2k... remember that farce? i do, in fact, i was a little concerned our kid might come out with three legs or something because of all the hype y2k was getting. actually, i don’t remember being very concerned about the whole y2k bit. i just wrote it off as some scare tactic created by the clinton administration to help get gore elected. that and that global warming crap.

turns out y2k was way overrated, but the birth of my and aim’s first kid was anything but. without a doubt the most amazing experience of my life up to that point and has since only been rivaled by the births of the other two boys. unreal. anecdotally speaking, on my and aim’s wedding invitation was printed a quote about love/marriage that said something to the effect of “when two being become one and yet remain two.” nice quote, good thought, but, in my humble opinion, the instance where two beings become three is probably even cooler. when jameson was born, aim rose to the occasion in that moment and crossed into the realm of the divine to meet jameson who was already there; and when i saw our little boy’s eyes for the first time, i joined them there for just a second and understood the gift of life and familial relationships, both temporally and spiritually, in a way i never had before.

enter jameson the wise.

as you, my blogging faithful know, i typically try to share a silly moment on the blog about someone close to me on that person’s birthday. jameson is no exception, but rather than rehash a personal experience this time, i thought i would share a lighthearted poem i wrote about jamebo’s birth for your reading enjoyment. so, in celebration of the kid who used to eat butter straight from the tub, projectile urinates with pinpoint precision, calls butterscotch butterscaratch, buys jewelry for his mom with his allowance money, and is the ideal older brother among other things, enjoy:

a new century was dawning
as well a new life
but one just not soon enough
for my child-laden wife

eight long months of discomfort
and times that were rough
if there were a towel she'd have thrown it
for she'd had enough

so i thought and i wondered
as my wife seemed to burst
and a plan i devised
on december the thirty-first

but our time was short
and i thought, just maybe
with the pull of some strings
we'd have the new year's baby

so i sat our son down
we spoke man to man
i explained the idea
and the strategy we planned

he then thought things over
in deep deliberation
he knew this would be it
with no reincarnation

so he made his decision
the first baby he'd be
and he started to knock
january 1st around 3

for him things looked good
an easy win he would savor
but another mom then arrived
and she was in labor

the mood soon grew tense
a pep talk was needed
so again we convened
and my counsel he heeded

defying all odds
he stuck to his decision
stared right into the eyes
of his newfound competition

he met it head on
and began to pull away
as the moon started to hide
and the night became day

grandparents and uncles
a few aunts and friends
were all cheering him on
yes, right 'til the end

a few critics and doomsdayers
then started to doubt
but around nine in the morn'
we all knew he'd come out

the end was now nearing
for mom's herculean chore
and provo's first of 2000
came at 9:24

emotions ran high
for the one that He'd sent us
we were so happy he'd come
our little jedi apprentice